In A Life
by TaikoHawk
Summary: Kakashi-centric flashfics detailing moments in his life, childhood and after. Sometimes serious, other times silly. The people he knew, the missions he completed; everything molded Kakashi into who he is now. Highlights Kakashi's friendship with Obito.
1. Konoha no Shiroi Kiba

_TaikoHawk-- Howdy folks. I know I mentioned another Naruto fic in the works on my profile. This is NOT it. This particular fic attacked me as I was watching the new Shippuden episodes (KAKASHI GAIDEN FTW!)_._ I really like Kakashi. He's pretty cool, even if he does go all 'I'm only paying attention to Sasuke' and whatnot. He's still an interesting character._ _Um. So then. This fic is actually more like a series of drabbles of varying length and tone, focusing on the one and only Copy Ninja Hatake Kakashi!_

_Please read and review!!!

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_Disclaimer-- I this really necessary? Obviously I don't own rights to Naruto.  
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**In A Life

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**1. Konoha no Shiroi Kiba**

Kakashi had been the one to find him, naturally. He'd done it in the middle of their living room. Some time in the night, Hatake Sakumo had taken a kunai and committed _seppuku_, while his nine-year-old son slept in a room just down the hall. Said son woke in the morning to a still house filled with the scent of old blood.

Kakashi couldn't smell any enemies in the house, but he wasn't fool enough to think that that meant there weren't any. He hadn't become a Chunin at age six as a fluke. With impressive stealth, the young prodigy paced down the hall toward the living areas of his home, a kunai held ready in one hand. Of all the things he could have found, he didn't quite expect it to be his father's disemboweled form lying crumpled on the living room _tatami_ mats. There was quite a lot of blood, which explained the smell.

The nine-year-old now-orphan stared at the body, his arm holding the kunai hanging limply at his side. It was apparent his father had committed suicide. The wound, the way his body lay just so, the fact that there was no sign of a struggle in the house, the fact that his father's famous _tanto_ sat, sheathed, on a low table beside the body… it all pointed to _seppuku_. A part of Kakashi's mind observed this all, subjectively. _Seppuku_… So that was the response his father had decided to make to the dishonor he'd had recently heaped upon him.

Oh yes, Kakashi knew of his father's actions, knew how he'd abandoned a mission because he held his Teammates' lives more important that mission success. He knew how Sakumo had been shunned, disgraced, hated… by everyone, even the Teammates whose lives he'd saved, because that mission could have shortened the war. Yes, Kakashi knew. And he'd seen the pain in his father's eyes before the elder Hatake had shuttered them. But he hadn't… quite… expected this of his father, though it shouldn't have surprised him. Sakumo had, on occasion, spoken of honor and the keeping of it.

Standing there, analyzing the scene and the situation, Kakashi wasn't really sure what he should be feeling. Relief because his father had ended his disgrace? Grief because his last family member was now dead? Anger because his father had left him alone? Shame because his father hadn't been strong enough to follow the Shinobi Rules and so had made such an end of himself?

In the end, Kakashi ended up just feeling hollow. Because, after all, a shinobi must never show emotion.


	2. The KublerRoss Model

**In A Life**

**2. The Kübler-Ross Model**

He'd thought that he'd completed that particular step already. He thought he'd be moving on to the next, toward the 'acceptance' bit. But Kakashi was finding that the second stage of grief wasn't ready to let him go just yet. It lingered, quiescent, until apparently at random, the anger sprang up and forced him to grit his teeth and clench his fists in the attempt to master it.

Stage one: Shock. The shock at seeing his Teammate half-crushed beneath stone had lasted only briefly, spurring him to the futile attempt to shift the boulder. Then he'd moved right along to stage two: anger, and stalled there. He'd been angry, at himself, at Obito, at Rin, at the Iwa-nin. He'd struck the ground, cursed, and- after Obito had gifted his Sharingan onto him- he'd killed.

He remembered the burning rage that had made his blood buzz with adrenaline, that had made that furious snarl swell up in his chest. It had felt so _good _to kill that damned Iwa shinobi who'd caused that cave-in. He couldn't remember if he'd taken out any of the others before Minato-sensei came.

He hoped he had. Sometimes, when the fury snuck up on him and teased his bloodlust, he wished wholeheartedly that that one Iwa-nin was still alive, so he could have the pleasure of killing him again.

_:Obito…:_

Perhaps he should be honest with himself and admit that he wanted to kill that enemy over and over because, as good as it had felt to end the Iwa-nin's life, it hadn't been enough. It hadn't brought Obito back. Perhaps he should be honest with himself and admit that he wanted to kill and kill again because he couldn't kill the one person he really wanted to—himself. Perhaps he should admit that he understood, if only a little, his father's actions better.

Kakashi was a little bit of a wreck; his emotions were everywhere, bouncing between his usual collected calmness and the raging fury. The Sharingan that had been Obito's dying gift to him could not be deactivated, and its slow pull on his chakra took a while to get used to. He had to reassess himself physically, to make the appropriate adjustments in his understanding of his limits and abilities. He was in a state of change, in so many ways. It was really no surprise that, after they'd returned (what was left of them) from the Kannabi Bridge mission, Sandaime had temporarily taken him off the active roster.

It was no surprise, but it made him angry. Which was even more evidence that he wasn't mentally fit to handle active duty. He understood that, and his anger made him angry, and he twisted himself up even more in the tangled mess that he had become.

He was angry that he was angry.

He was angry that he'd been such a failure at being a Jounin commander.

He was angry that they hadn't been able to bring Obito's body back to Konoha.

Being angry all the time made him exhausted, combined with the alterations he was having to make in his life to the Sharingan that had replaced his left eye. He waited, struggling to move on to the other stages of grief, desperate to reach that final one: Acceptance. He waited, battling his irrational bouts of rage. He waited, because that was all he could think to do.


	3. Memorial Stone

**In A Life**

**3.** **Memorial Stone**

As the crowd dispersed, Kakashi stood his ground, waiting patiently until the last stragglers had departed from the field. It seemed that no one else wished to linger by the memorial; perhaps for them the loss was too fresh, the symbol of the Stone too painful to contemplate just yet. But for Kakashi… It had been over three weeks. He'd had time to finally come to grips with things, unlike the families, who often didn't receive word until days after the death actually occurred. The sad truth was that it took time to figure out who the dead were, after every battle. It took time to tally the losses, to send word back to Konoha, to enter the information into the village's records, to draft the messages to families… "It is to my sorrow that I must inform you of the death of your son/daughter/mother/father/husband/wife. He/she fell in battle, engaging the enemy with courage and honor. Be assured that his/her sacrifice will not go unrecognized…"

Kakashi had never realized how empty the words sounded, but then, they'd never struck quite so close to home. He didn't have any relatives for whom he might receive such messages. He'd never seen one, never known what they said, until a weeping Rin had mutely shown him a crumpled one after he'd happened upon her crying at Training Ground Five and clue-lessly questioned why she wept. Her father. He'd fallen before… Before. Before Team Minato. Before Uchiha Obito had challenged Kakashi's view. Before the letter for Uchiha Obito had been written and sent to the Uchiha Compound.

Before Kakashi realized just how _insubstantial_ the words were, how little they comforted, how the roiling emotions built up as you read each word until you just wanted to scream _I don't care if they died with honor! I want them BACK!_ Not that Kakashi had had the opportunity to read the letter informing the Uchiha of Obito's death. He was- had been- Obito's Teammate; there was no need to send him a letter. He _knew_. Oh, did he know…

Kakashi's hand rose unconsciously to his brow, to press harshly against the ridge of bone above his left eye. Obito… The Teammate he'd never taken seriously, a lesser Uchiha, a crybaby… A good man. Man. Ha; he was scarcely thirteen, and dead, dead, dead.

It took a moment to locate Obito's name on the Memorial; during the war groups of names were added in occasional mass-funerals. Nobody had the luxury of a private ceremony. There were too many dead for that.

Eventually, Kakashi located his… friend's (could he call him a friend? Perhaps they could have been…) name. The grey-haired teen crouched down to bring his face level with Obito's name. He hesitated, once (_a shinobi never shows emotion_), before reaching out a brushing the tips of his fingers over the sharp edges of the newly-graven characters.

_:Those who break the rules and regulations are scum. But those who abandon their comrades are worse than scum. Maybe you're right, Obito. If I had just… If I had just realized it sooner…: _Kakashi crumpled in guilt and regret, knees crashing to the stone dais of the Memorial, bumping the pair of goggles- Obito's spare pair, which his brokenhearted little eight-year-old sister had placed there- that sat next to the tall Stone.

:_What, you're going to take all the credit for yourself?:_

Kakashi's head whipped up, his visible grey eye (his borrowed Sharingan was bound under bandages) widening dramatically. That voice… He stared, more shocked than he remembered ever feeling in his life, into the face of the dead Uchiha Obito.

_:It's not your fault I'm dead. It was a team-effort,: _Obito's smile was wry, _:like rescuing Rin was a team-effort. There isn't just one person we can blame.:_

He was not solid; Kakashi could see clear through his blue-and-orange clothed body to the other side of the field. Kakashi gave his head a minute shake, lifted a hand, and said: "_Kai_!"

But the specter didn't disappear. Instead, his face set into that familiar sulky frown, a little lopsided because his left eye was kept closed as if in a perpetual wink. _:I'm not a _genjutsu_, jerk. As you should have known immediately, thanks to that awesome left eye you have. Except you've got it all bandaged up and hidden.:_

"I can't deactivate it, so I have to cover it," Kakashi said, responding to the slight hurt in Obito's tone before he could consider the fact that he was speaking to an illusion. Obito's face went apologetic. This illusion was good… it captured the Uchiha's mannerisms perfectly, even the mercurial nature of his moods.

_:I didn't really think about how your body might react to the Sharingan when I told Rin to transplant it. Sorry.:_

If the release didn't work, maybe it wasn't an illusion. Maybe he was hallucinating? Didn't shell-shocked ninja hallucinate sometimes?

_:Oi. Oi! I just apologized to you! Are you even listening?:_

But is it possible to be aware that your hallucinations are hallucinations? He didn't know, he wasn't a med-nin. Maybe he should ask Rin, she would know. Or she would know someone who did.

_:Dammit, Kakashi! I'm not an illusion _or _a hallucination. Why would you be hallucinating, anyway? The idea of you with Post-Traumatic Stress is ridiculous.:_

Rin would be at the hospital right now; her shift started right after the funeral. He could go see her now, and fix this momentary lapse of sanity. Kakashi stood, carefully smoothing his face into its customary expressionless cast, and started off toward the hospital. His personal ghost followed, grumbling.

_:I suppose I shouldn't be surprised you're ignoring me. It's not like you paid much attention to me even when I was alive.:_

A stab of guilt.

_:Oh, would you stop with the guilt already? I told you it wasn't your fault I died.:_

Kakashi reached the front entrance of the hospital and stepped in side, zeroing in immediately on the receptionist. She looked up as he approached. "I need to see medic Shimizu Rin."

"Shimizu-san is seeing patients right now, but if you'd-" the receptionist started, starting to pull some forms together. Kakashi interrupted her.

"I am one of her patients. Where is she?"

The receptionist's mouth thinned in displeasure at the rudeness, and she seemed to be gathering herself to unleash a tongue-lashing on the thirteen-year-old shinobi. Everyone who worked at Konoha's hospital, it had to be noted, had no fear of standing up to the ninja who found themselves inside the building.

_:I should have just snuck in,: _Kakashi reflected. It would have saved him some trouble, but instead he had to follow the rules and enter in the normal way…

_:Told you following the rules wasn't all that great.: _And, damn it all, having Obito's running commentary on the situation wasn't helping matters. Kakashi pointedly refused to look in the direction of his dead Teammate's transparent form.

"Kakashi?" The sound of his name spoken with a real voice made the grey-haired youth turn. Rin was standing not too far away, helping an elderly woman (presumably one of her patients) walk back to her waiting family. The brown-eyed med-nin looked at her Jounin Teammate curiously. He wasn't really one to appear at the hospital unless absolutely necessary- understandable for one with a heightened sense of smell. She nodded, her eyes focusing briefly on something over his shoulder, and Kakashi sensed the irate receptionist settle slightly, grumbling to herself under her breath.

_:Phew! Saved by Rin… Again.: _Obito sounded amused. _:You're lucky, Kakashi, I think that receptionist was about ready to dislocate every joint in your body.:_

Kakashi ignored this, waiting patiently for Rin. The elderly woman's son stepped forward to take his mother from the med-nin, and after a brief conversation of low voices, the family left and Rin turned to Kakashi. She tilted her head to the side and surveyed him.

"You don't look injured, yet you're standing inside the hospital voluntarily. What's wrong, Kakashi?" she teased lightly.

"I'm seeing things," he replied, ignoring Obito's insulted squawk (_I'm not a thing!_). Rin's eyebrows rose and she focused on the bandages covering half Kakashi's face.

"The Sharingan?" she asked. Kakashi wanted to say no, after all, the thing was shut and bandaged so how could it be responsible for this? Not to mention the fact that it was supposed to see through illusions, not make the Sharingan's user see them. But…

"I don't know," responded Kakashi instead. Rin frowned thoughtfully before turning to the receptionist.

"Suzumi-san, could you hold my other patients for a while, please?" she turned to her Teammate. "Come on."

She led Kakashi (and by transitive property, Obito) down a couple hallways and into an examination room. Kakashi perched awkwardly on the edge of the exam table, and Rin put her hands on either side of his head. He felt the tickling sensation of medical chakra immediately.

_:She's not going to find anything wrong with you,: _said Obito absently. He was inspecting some of the instruments on the room's little sink and countertop— tongue-depressors, that little hammer they tapped your knee with to test your reaction, one of those examiner things doctors always stuck in your ear without warning…

It only took a minute or so for Rin to finished her diagnostic. She stepped back and regarded Kakashi. "There doesn't seem to be anything wrong with the Sharingan, or your normal eye. And I couldn't detect anything else that could cause vision problems."

"Hm," Kakashi said.

_:Told you so.: _Obito waved his hand through the middle of the instruments, wiggling his fingers as they passed through the solid objects.

"What exactly did you say you were seeing? Spots? Was it just blurred vision?" Rin asked.

"I… thought I might be hallucinating."

Silence. Then Rin said: "Hallucinations can be caused by chemical imbalances in the brain, which might be caused by psychological trauma or physical illness. It's understandable that you might have them… And I'm not specialized enough in neuromedicine to detect the more subtle triggers that might cause them."

"So it's possible."

_:Hey, wait a second here…:_

"It's possible," agreed Rin. "What exactly have you been seeing?"

Should he lie? Could Rin take it if he told her the truth? She was a kunoichi, and wasn't weak.

"Obito," Kakashi replied bluntly.

A longer silence, during which Rin stared at him and he stared back. Then, hesitantly:

"Not all hallucinations are… bad," Rin said. "Some psychologists use a sort of hallucination-therapy to help patients who are having trouble coping with the loss of relatives or loved ones. It can help for them to believe they are speaking to the lost party, getting closure…"

_:Rin! Rin! What're you doing! You're completely undermining me here!: _Obito waved his hands in frustration, turning away from the counter.

"Sometimes the mind does this for itself, making a person believe that the person they lost has come back. Often they're given a task of some sort, and the completion of the task brings closure," Rin continued, oblivious. She paused.

_:Come on, give me a break! Aren't you people supposed to revere the dead and all that? Stop selling me short!: _

"You think this might be what's happening to me," Kakashi concluded. Rin nodded hesitantly.

"It might have been triggered by the funeral. It could be that your subconscious is craving closure. Maybe you should… talk… to him," she suggested. Kakashi thought about it. As he did so, Rin went to the door. "I'll check back on you in a few minutes."

Her soft voice drifted across his thoughts, but he didn't respond. He continued to think, Obito continued to lament the fact that nobody took him seriously even as a ghost, and Rin left quietly.

"Alright," Kakashi said calmly, finally, after several long moments. He fixed his eye on Obito's ghost, which froze in its agitated monologue. "What are you doing here?"

_:I told you why I'm here. I'm here to help you.:_

"Help me with what?"

Obito looked meek. _:Ah… Life?:_

Kakashi stared, and, very slowly, blinked once. It was the sort of blink that said: really? Did you really just say that?

Obito looked away, pouting. _:Death was boring, okay? And we got the choice, to go on beyond it, to stay there, or to go back… Well, sort of. I chose to come back.:_

_"I wish… I could've spent more time… with everyone…" _Kakashi felt that thought more than heard it from Obito, and knew, somehow, that it had been Obito's last thought before he died. He swallowed. Maybe this idea of Rin's wasn't such a good one…

"Why'd you come to me?" Kakashi asked, a little hoarsely. Obito smiled a little sadly, and pointed to Kakashi's bandaged left eye. Kakashi's hand rose to cover it. "Your Sharingan?"

_:It's sort of a connection. I said I could become your eye, didn't I? Well… think of this like an extension of that.:_

"Are you planning on hanging around me for the rest of my life?" Kakashi asked flatly. Obito poked a finger at the container of tongue-depressors, a look of intense concentration on his face.

_:Tch. No. I'll be around. When you need me.: _The first couple of times, his spectral finger just jabbed through the solid jar, but then one poke connected and the jar squeaked to the left minutely.

"When I need you? Then… _why are you here now_?" Kakashi demanded, a little irritably. The bunch of tongue-depressors in Obito's hands slipped through suddenly re-incorporeal fingers, and he huffed.

_:Would you rather I had waited and popped up during something important, distracting you and maybe getting you killed? I thought it might be a good idea to warn you first.: _ Obito paused. Rubbed the back of his neck. Mumbled, _:Besides, some of what Rin said is true. You needed to know that I don't blame you. That I'm not angry.:_

"Are you? Don't you?" Obito looked up from the despressors he was gathering, at Kakashi, who was studying the wall as if it were the most fascinating thing he'd ever seen.

_:No. You… you were trying to be the best shinobi you could, trying follow the rules. And the rules… the rules are rules because they're what's best for the village. The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few, or the one. We _had_ to accomplish our mission. I just believe that you shouldn't abandon your comrades unless it's completely necessary. We could have saved Rin _and_ finished the mission.:_

"Yes. I should have realized that, should have planned for it…" Kakashi admitted, quietly.

_:But now you realize it, and you won't make the same mistake,: _Obito said cheerily, playing with the bits of flat wood he'd managed somehow to grip with his transparent hands.

"What if I forget?" asked Kakashi frankly.

_:Well…: _Obito drawled, as he clicked the tongue-depressors down onto the countertop one by one, _:That's one of the reasons I'm here. Don't worry, Kakashi, I'll keep you on the straight-and-narrow. Or the wide-and-meandering, I suppose.:_

Kakashi supposed there could have been worse hallucinations to have. Obito could have been haunting him, after all. There could have been a lot more raving and foaming at the mouth.

"I was just beginning to accept the fact that you died," he muttered.

_:And now you're gonna have to accept the fact that I'm a ghost.: _The boy was far too cheerful to be a ghost. Kakashi sighed, and Obito laughed.

'Snick.' Obito set down the last tongue-depressor deliberately, and watched Kakashi with his right eye open and dark-irised, his left closed over what was an empty socket.

"Obito," the grey-haired Jounin said, and looked at the translucent image of his Teammate, "I'm sorry."

The dead teen's face softened a little. _:I know. That's another reason why I'm here.:_

"So, you're going to keep coming back?" Kakashi asked.

_:Yep. You're stuck with me.:_

"Hm."

There was a knock on the door, and as it cracked open, Obito grinned at Kakashi and flicked his fingers at the other teen. _:Time to go. See you around, Kakashi!:_

"Kakashi?" Rin edged into the room. She surveyed her Teammate with concern. "You alright?"

The Jounin slid off of his perch and stuck his hands in his pockets.

"Yep," he said unconcernedly. He headed for the door. "Everything's fine."

"Are you sure?" she asked, startled that he was so nonchalant after apparently having been hallucinating his dead Teammate's presence. "If anything-"

Kakashi lifted a hand lazily as he walked down the hall toward the exit. "It's fine. Don't worry, Rin."

He left behind a blinking med-nin. She hadn't quite expected the problem to be so quickly done away with, but Kakashi had seemed so… blithe. So _Kakashi_.

"Everything's fine," Rin echoed. She looked into the examination room. A little bemusedly, she noticed the tongue-depressors laid out on the countertop next to the sink, formed into precise characters:

_HI RIN!_


	4. Uchiha Evaluation

**In a Life**

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**4. Uchiha Evaluation

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Kakashi was glad that Obito's shade was accompanying him for this particular task. He was sure that it wouldn't be pleasant. And since it was Obito's fault, and Obito's family, Kakashi felt it only fair that his dead Teammate be present.

_:Oh shut up. It's not like they're going kill you, or gouge the eye out. Probably.: _Obito scoffed, walking ahead of Kakashi as two Uchiha Clan members (both with _Konoha Keimu Butai_ insignia) escorted the Hatake teen to the Clan leader's house.

Obito's remark was hardly reassuring. Kakashi knew the elitist clan was put-out about the fact that he, an outsider, possessed the precious Sharingan. He wouldn't put it past them to take the eye back… by any means necessary.

_:Tch. This is my family, Kakashi,: _Obito said. The group stopped in front of a house, and the escorts opened the door and showed Kakashi in. _:Really, they're not _that _bad…:_

Kakashi's escorts opened a sliding door to reveal the Uchiha elders waiting in a large _tatami_ room. Obito paused.

_:Oh. Fugaku-sama. I forgot he was the new Clan Head… And is that Great-Uncle Ichiro? Uh…: _the ghost blinked at Kakashi. _:Hey after they kill you, d'you wanna go haunt Rin with me?:_

Hilarious.

Kakashi swallowed his nerves, and went in. After he'd bowed, the Elders invited him to sit, and he did so immediately. The group of stern-faced, black-eyed Uchiha surveyed him silently. And, because he was Hatake Kakashi and refuse to give them the pleasure of seeing him squirm, he stared back with a half-lidded grey eye.

"Hatake Kakashi…" the Clan Head said at last, drawing out the syllables of his name. "I trust you understand why you're here?"

"Yes, Uchiha-sama," the youth replied tonelessly. "You're going to decide whether I deserve to keep Obito's gift or not."

Well, maybe that was a little more blunt than he should have made it. But fortunately, it seemed the Uchiha were willing to overlook minor transgressions. For now. _:The hell is wrong with you? Don't provoke them!: _Obito shouted at him as some of the stern faces around them grew narrow-eyed. _:The Elders of my Clan are not as easy-going as Minato-sensei, or Hokage-sama! They won't take your disrespect!:_

But Kakashi ignored his friend's (wise) advice, and sat in front of the oldest, most powerful Uchiha Clan members with a blank face and a spark of rebellion in his lone visible eye.

"If you are so aware," said Fugaku, calmly but with quiet menace, "that we hold such a stake in your future, perhaps a measure of respect would be advisable."

"Forgive me, Uchiha-sama, I had not meant to be insulting." It was a blatant lie, but Fugaku couldn't call him on it without being rude himself. Hands clutching his head dramatically, Obito's ghost paced jerkily across a stretch of empty floor. Evidently, he had no confidence in Kakashi's chances of getting out of this unscathed.

"Hm," said Fugaku, coolly. He crossed his arms across his chest, and eyed the grey-haired teen seated in front of him. "You are fortunate your reputation as a shinobi is indisputably impressive. That speaks for your worthiness."

Kakashi was silent, but his lips thinned under his mask. Worthiness? The arrogant old fool…

"And apparently you were capable of handling the increase in audio-visual stimuli caused by the Sharingan only moments after it was implanted in your body…" Fugaku continued.

Kakashi inclined his head and said: "I was able to utilize the Sharingan to predict my opponents' moves and to improve my speed and reaction times immediately after receiving Obito's eye. I did pass out after, though, from both physical and chakra exhaustion."

Fugaku nodded slowly. Kakashi would have said 'regally' but that gave the Uchiha head too much credit. The movement was arrogant, condescending, as well as graceful and self-assured. The stern-faced man waved a hand in a careless gesture: "Reveal your Sharingan."

It was an order, and as much as Kakashi didn't want to let Fugaku think he could order him around just because he happened to have the Clan's precious _kekkei genkai_, he gritted his teeth and did as the Clan leader said. Necessity was a bitch, but Kakashi knew he had to oblige the Uchiha in this. Kakashi lifted a hand and slid his _hitai-ate _(he'd taken to wearing it tilted over his left eye) and opened the Sharingan eye Obito had gifted unto him. He looked straight at Fugaku fearlessly. He didn't even flinch when the Clan Elders surrounding him all activated their own Sharingan and peered intently at his.

There were some low side-murmurings as the Uchiha observed Kakashi's Sharingan, the movement of chakra in it and around it. Obito's shade tapped his foot impatiently on the _tatami _mats, watching the proceedings unhappily. He didn't seem to be particularly at ease in the presence of his Clan's Elders, despite the fact that, as a ghost, he was invisible to them.

_:What, and you're not nervous, Kakashi?: _the dead youth snapped. _:Oh no, the mighty Kakashi _can't _be _nervous_! He's too busy provoking people who already aren't terribly fond of him… Idiot.:_

_ Obviously_ the Uchiha weren't fond of him. Did Obito think they would welcome him like an adopted son? And besides, since walking into this room, Kakashi had been too… well, too _irritated _to be very nervous. All his previous nerves seemed to have vanished.

"You cannot deactivate it?" questioned one Elder, calling Kakashi's full attention back to the matter at hand. "It continually pulls on your chakra?"

"Yes, sir. That is why I close the eye and cover it unless I need to utilize the Sharingan," Kakashi replied, a very subtle undercurrent of 'obviously, you stupid man' lacing the words. It was either undetected of ignored. There were more murmurings and inspections. And after that, more questions, and then a very careful, close-up inspection by one Elder who had some general knowledge of medical jutsu. Then there were even more murmurings.

Then there was a pompous lecture on the honor of the Uchiha Clan, and how Kakashi had best comport himself, now that he was possessed of the identifying Uchiha Sharingan. That eye, he was told (in tones bordering on resigned disgust), connected him to the Uchiha Clan name, and he had best remember that his actions would therefore reflect on the Clan.

Their self-righteous high-handedness began to wear on Kakashi, and as a result, his subtle rudeness started to become a little ragged and more flagrant around the edges. It was lucky for him (and for Obito's non-health) that they finally, _finally_, dismissed him when they did. Which is to say, before he could really snap and make them angry. With iron-will, Kakashi bowed to them. He managed not to choke on the formal thank-you he extended to the Clan for their _gracious allowance for him to continue to possess the Sharingan_. Kakashi walked out of the Uchiha District just a little more stiffly than normal.

_:Oh dear gods,: _Obito said faintly, after they'd left. _:Were you trying to get yourself crossed and quartered? _Nobody _talks back to the Clan Head. Not without first putting their affairs in order and kissing their families goodbye.:_

"You're too melodramatic, Obito," Kakashi murmured aloud, seeing as there were no people nearby. "They wouldn't kill me. They wouldn't even try to take back the Sharingan. I bet you that they had to get Hokage-sama to sanction that meeting. And I bet you even more that Hokage-sama 'informed' them that no matter what they thought, they weren't taking the eye back."

_:What? Why?: _Obito was surprised. The Hokage didn't usually get so involved in Clan matters like that.

"Because I'm not a part of your Clan, they have no jurisdiction over me. And once you'd given your eye to me, willingly, before a witness, it became a part of me, and also outside their jurisdiction. Really, all this was was an attempt to make sure I understood that they'd be watching me. Possibly an attempt to make me give up the Sharingan," Kakashi explained. He sounded laid-back, calm, but a closer inspection would reveal lingering tension in his shoulders, and annoyance in his visible eye.

_:Oh. So you were rude because you knew they couldn't touch you?: _Obito stopped and frowned at Kakashi as the grey-haired teen continued walking down the street languidly.

"I was rude," Kakashi said, not stopping, "because they were second-guessing your judgment. Your actions."

Obito blinked, surprised, at his friend's back. And then he smiled. _:Thanks… Kakashi.: _


	5. Konoha no Kiiroi Senkou

**In A Life**

**5.****Konoha no Kiiroi Senkou**

At fourteen years old, Hatake Kakashi could still cry. He wasn't so old that his experiences as a shinobi had hardened him enough that his tears had dried up, and he wasn't so young that his old devotion to the Shinobi Rules choked off the tears in the name of duty. At fourteen years old, Hatake Kakashi still had his tears and had the ability to shed them. And fate seemed too willing to give him the chance.

The young Jounin stumbled blindly over the broken earth of Training Ground Ten- the dark, the shattered debris, his wavering tears, and the emotional tumult he felt conspired to make him clumsy. There was no one else at the Training Ground; in the middle of the night, one day after a massive, unexpected attack on the village, this was hardly surprising. A lot of Leaf-nin were off patrolling, making sure their enemies wouldn't take advantage of the village's turmoil. A lot of Leaf-nin were dead, too, fallen in that desperate, despairing battle that had left so much of the Hidden Village in ruins.

Kakashi tripped numbly over a fissure in the ground and halted, swaying almost drunkenly, staring at the wooden target posts a few yards in front of him. The moon shone weakly on them, as if it, too, was drained, beleaguered, subdued. Kakashi's hand moved gracelessly, pulling a kunai from the pouch at his hip so clumsily that its edge sliced the pouchflap as it came clear.

The grey-haired shinobi didn't notice. He lifted the kunai and let fly. The 'thunk' it made as it bit into the target post was loud in the still night. Kakashi waited, but nothing happened. Finally, he trudged to the post, retrieved the kunai, paced back to his position, and let fly again.

Thunk. Nothing. He trudged over again.

He had fought, too. Everyone had fought. There hadn't been any choice; they needed everyone, otherwise they would have lost. And even then, it had been a near thing. The Nine-Tailed Demon Fox had been terrible in its power.

Thunk.

If it hadn't been for the Hokage…

Thunk.

Kakashi was moving faster now; the solid sound of the kunai hitting the post increased in frequency, but no matter how many times the fourteen-year-old threw the weapon, the result was the same. Nothing.

Thunk.

Why wasn't it working? Why?

Thunk.

Why?

Thunk.

Thunk.

Thunk.

The tears that had been swimming in Kakashi's visible grey eye were falling now, tracing rivulets down his face, wetting his mask. He was running to and from the post. Then using the body-flicker technique. The sound of his breath was getting louder as he choked on his sobs.

On top of one of the other target posts, a spectral form wearing navy and orange perched, hunched and silent in his own misery, unable to offer any consoling words to his living Teammate.

Kakashi had stopped throwing, and was instead hacking at the post with the kunai held in his fist. He was weeping openly now. He stabbed once more and slid to his knees, crying, head bowed, fingers scraping the rough wood. The kunai, three-pronged, its handle carefully inked with a jutsu, stuck out of the post, its sharp middle-point stuck an inch into the wood. The kunai, a gift from Kakashi's sensei upon his elevation to Jounin, sat inert, just another inanimate object.

It should have called him. Once thrown, it should have become a locus for his _Hiraishin no Jutsu_. But it didn't work anymore. Because he was dead.

Kakashi's sensei, whom he had nearly regarded as a father-figure, whom he had admired, respected, and- when he'd become Hokage- served. This man was dead. Another name for the Memorial Stone. Another name for Kakashi to visit.

The fourteen-year-old sat next to the target post well into the early hours of the morning, his only company the ghost of the dead Teammate whose left eye he bore.


	6. Obito's Legacy

_TH: Well, I figured I had to put a happy drabble in here... there's been a lot of death and depression so far. Actually, there seems to be a lot of those things in Kakashi's life overall... poor guy._

_Anyway, please R&R._

* * *

**In a Life**

**

* * *

**

**6. Obito's Legacy

* * *

**

The first time it happened, he actually told the truth.

Since his original Team was… fragmented… Kakashi was used as a sort of substitute. The Hokage placed him on a variety of Teams, but didn't assign him a permanent spot. Which was fine, since Kakashi was preparing to advance into ANBU, and would have had to leave whatever Team he was assigned to anyway. Besides, this way, the Hokage could place him wherever his skills were needed, without disrupting too much. Kakashi was flexible- he had to be- and managed to integrate himself well enough into the Teams on which he was momentarily placed so that whatever mission they were assigned was a success. He had begun, after Obito's death, to work on improving his teamwork, his connections to his comrades. And he had gotten better. Except…

"You're _late_, Kakashi!" growled one of this week's Teammates. One of the Inuzuka Clan's lesser members, it seemed. If the dog and the facial-markings were any clue.

Kakashi blinked, glanced at the sun, said: "Hm. So I am."

The blasé reply hid all of the actual surprise Kakashi felt (_I'm late? How could I have lost track of the time?_) and incensed the Inuzuka.

"Yeah! You are! Got any excuse?" she hissed. The rest of the Team members were nearby, listening. It seemes that either they didn't find fault with the Inuzuka's behavior or they'd learned to stay out of her way when she was acting irritable. Kakashi didn't much care either way.

"I was at the Memorial Stone," Kakashi replied easily, not really thinking about it. He really just wanted to get the mission over with; he still needed to train a bit more to really get his control of his Sharingan down.

He immediately regretted telling the truth when he saw his Teammates' faces morph into varying mixtures of guilt, pity, and compassion. _:Shit. I don't need them acting all gentle with me just because of that.:_

It was aggravating, people treating him like glass because of the losses he'd suffered. To most of that generation, it was known that Team Minato had gone out on the Kannabi Bridge mission with four members and come back minus one Uchiha. It was also known that Kakashi had gone out on that mission with two grey eyes and come back with a scar and one new crimson eye. The details of what exactly had happened remained unspoken, kept only in the memories of the two remaining members of Team Minato, in the mission report, and in the Hokage's memory. But everyone else seemed perfectly capable of conjecture. So Kakashi occasionally caught pitying or suspicious glances being flicked his way. The suspicion wasn't so bad, he could ignore that, but the pity made him a little angry.

Other ninja who'd suffered as much as he and who received the same pitying looks sometimes reacted in the same way as Kakashi. Others didn't mind. Kakashi had tried to make it known which camp he fell in, but that unfortunately didn't stop the glances that come when people thought he wasn't looking. Or when people couldn't keep their emotions from showing. Like this Team, apparently.

"Let's get this mission going," Kakashi said, using every last bit of willpower to keep from growling at them. They obeyed quietly, as if their complete subservience to him was an apology.

_:Dammit.: _This mission was going to test the limits of his patience.

qpqp

One thing that could be said about Hatake Kakashi is that he had always been a bright child. Quick on the uptake, easily grasping lessons… It wasn't often he made the same mistake twice.

Being late for meeting his Team, for reporting to the Hokage… Really, being late in general seemed to be one of the exceptions. After that first time, it just kept occurring. Over and over again. He quickly got a reputation as being late. Lazy, some said. Disrespectful, said others. Kakashi didn't care.

On the matter of telling the truth when irked friends and Teammates called him out for being late… Well. Kakashi learned _that_ lesson after the first time.

The second time: "Sorry. On the way here I had to show the way to an old woman carrying luggage." (He rather liked the irony of this one, and it seemed almost like another little thing he could do in remembrance of Obito… Not that he needed to be reminded, what with the ghost of the Uchiha popping up randomly around him.)

The fifth time: "A black cat crossed my path."

The eleventh time: "I saw a chicken cross the road ahead of me, and stopped to see what it did next." (He was starting to enjoy coming up with the excuses…)

The twelfth time: "I had to save a shopkeeper from a robber."

The fourteenth time: "I had to find a priest to exorcize the ghost that's been haunting me." (Obito had chewed him out for that particular one later, saying that that joke was off-limits due to complete lack of humor.)

The twenty-seventh time: "Sorry, I got lost on the path of life." (That was a good one; he rationed that one, so it didn't lose its shine.)

The twenty-ninth time: "Sorry, I got lost on the way to the map store."

The thirtieth time: "I got something in my eye and had to stop to get it out."

He tended think up excuses when he was bored, but some of them were never quite 'good' enough to be used. So on occasion he cycled his favorites. It was rather amusing to see the exasperation on people's faces when he delivered one.

_:Stealing my act,: _sighed Obito once, when he'd been present for the scene. _:Get your own material, Kakashi!:_

The grey-haired shinobi knew that Obito didn't really begrudge him it; in fact, Kakashi was sure the Uchiha got a kick out of it.

…But Kakashi made sure to use the exorcism excuse the next time. Just on principle.


	7. Hokage

**In A Life**

**7. Hokage**

Sarutobi Hiruzen was nice enough, as ninja went. It was never exactly 'true' to call a ninja 'nice' or 'kind', because when it came down to it, that same smiling, baby-kissing ninja could eviscerate a man without a trace of remorse. The elderly Sarutobi was exactly this kind of ninja. Children loved him. Subordinates respected him. Enemies feared him. He had been perfect to take over the Hokage's office after the death of the Yondaime. Not only was he capable, he was experienced; he had been the Sandaime. In the period of time after the Kyuubi's attack and the Yondaime's death, when the village was still so raw, unwilling to broach the subject of nominating candidates for the Godaime position, and when experienced leadership was so acutely needed, what better to do than to bring back the Third Hokage?

Konoha was limping, so to speak. A large portion of the village was in utter ruins, thanks to the destructive power of the Kyuubi. People were without homes. Children were without parents, as the death toll of the battle climbed distressingly high. Civilians, ninja, it didn't matter. The Kyuubi didn't distinguish between the two; it was an equal-opportunity murderer. Morale of the Hidden Village was low, as they interred urn after urn after urn in the cemetery. As they etched their Yondaime Hokage's name into the Memorial Stone. Things had seemed so bright; the war was over, the soldiers were home, they had a young leader filled with potential… And then the Kyuubi showed them just how fragile it all was.

It seemed that the Sandaime Hokage understood this all, because he did his best to quickly and efficiently get Konoha rebuilt and restored. He knew how important it was to get the people moving back on track, how vital it was to not let them wallow in the despair and sorrow left over from the Kyuubi's attack. He'd seen them through the Third Shinobi War; he could see them through this.

Reflecting on the Sandaime's actions- how the man had practically hauled the village out of its emotional pit by the metaphorical lapels, gathering the broken pieces of the people of the Leaf and re-sculpting them, apparently never looking back- Kakashi wondered just how much it hurt the old man that he'd never been able to allow himself to really mourn the death of his successor, his young protégé. Sarutobi had had to be strong for the village, had had to drive them forward. He had never been able to really sit back and let the fact that Namikaze Minato was dead settle in his heart and mind. He had been too busy making sure that Konoha didn't shatter.

Beyond everything, Kakashi decided, being a Hokage meant sacrifice. When you took the position, you gave up everything that you were and became whatever the village needed. Once you became Hokage, you were unmade as a person. You became a weapon. You became a symbol. You became a war-general. The village wasn't yours— you became the village's.

_Kage_. Shadow. All the leaders of the five major Hidden Villages had the word in their title. Tsuchikage. Kazekage. Mizukage. Raikage. _Hokage_; 'Fire shadow.' Because, once you took that office, you lost your own identity and became an echo of your village, your country. Like a shadow.


	8. Something More

**In A Life**

**8. Something More**

When Kakashi first found out that his sensei had a son- a living son, in Konoha, right at that very moment- he was conflicted. Because along with that revelation came the addendum that that son was, in fact, also the Kyuubi jinchuuriki, of whom everyone was already aware. And for whom so many in Konoha already held hatred and fear.

"There are a very few people who know the truth of Naruto's parentage," Sarutobi had told him gravely. "You have been trusted with this knowledge because of your connection to Minato and because of your skills. You are one of the few who could perform the strengthening jutsu on the Kyuubi's seal if the need arose."

On the one hand, he was happy his sensei had left something more than mere memories behind. A son! He had had a son… But on the other hand, Minato-sensei's living legacy was the container for his killer, the Kyuubi-- could in fact actually _be _the Kyuubi, if the seals the Yondaime Hokage had performed had somehow gone wrong. The kid was barely more than a baby, a year and some months old. Was that old enough for them to know? The seals seemed complete, but… The seals only indicated that the Kyuubi was sealed inside the body, not that the body contained a soul beside the demon. Was there a Naruto in there, or was it just Kyuubi no Youko?

Kakashi remembered standing there in front of the Sandaime, silent, trying to decide what he should feel. Sarutobi had evidently taken his silence as a good sign, or at least a promising one, because he'd continued: "In light of all this, it is entirely possible you will be playing a part in the boy's life later on. I deemed it prudent to allow you some time to adjust to the idea and the situation."

And so saying, he'd dismissed the young, then-newly-inducted-ANBU shinobi, and Kakashi had wandered off to mull over the revelation that had just been pressed upon him.

His sensei's son, the Kyuubi jinchuuriki. Dammit.

He hadn't actually ever seen the boy, which might have been why he hadn't been aware the child was sensei's son. There weren't many things Kakashi's sharp senses could miss, and he was sure that a blood-relation of Minato-sensei wasn't one of them. But he wondered if he would know whether, inside the physical body, that child was human or demon.

From what he'd overheard from the ANBU who guarded the one-year-old (for the boy's benefit, or the village's? It was hard to tell), the kid was like any other kid. As a baby, he'd cried when hungry, wet, cold, hot, etc etc. When he was teething, he fussed, and gnawed on everything within reach… including little handfuls of the clothing of whoever happened to be holding him. He'd learned to walk, to the amusement of his guards, who'd been witness to the many attempts leading up to the final success.

Not that any of this particularly meant anything to Kakashi, who was, after all, still a teenager, male, a shinobi, and who had been an only child. The life he'd lived had not been conducive to knowing much of anything about babies or children. His childhood had been anything but normal, so how was he supposed to know what 'normal' was?

And, the way the Hokage talked, is seemed that he would eventually end up hanging around the kid, to help keep the seal under control. Which made sense in one way, and was completely illogical in another. The sense: Kakashi was skilled in seals and would, as Sarutobi had mentioned, be one of a very few ninja who could manage the Kyuubi's, should it be disrupted. And, if Naruto were truly his father's son, he'd become a Leaf-nin. The use of his chakra in that way would almost certainly disrupt the seal, making the presence of ninja like Kakashi a necessity in the kid's life.

The illogical part came from the fact that Kakashi simply didn't interact terribly well with people. Kids expecially. The whole 'you were a kid once, you should be able to connect with them somehow' thing just didn't work when you actually _hadn't _been a kid, not really. Kakashi had been a full-fledged shinobi Chunin at the tender age of six. It was the only life he knew. How the _hell _was he supposed to relate to kids who _started learning _to be ninja at the same age?

But then… "I deemed it prudent to allow you some time to adjust to the idea and the situation" the Hokage had said. Maybe that had been a subtle hint for Kakashi to start practicing his 'kid-friendly' act.

Kakashi sighed. He'd paused momentarily in a small park near the Hokage's Tower, on a hill-slope that faced the mountain. Leaning against a tree, hands in his pockets, he gazed up at the stone face of the late Yondaime Hokage. He twitched up one eyebrow (the effect was sadly lessened by the fact that his _hitai-ate _covered one eye and eyebrow up, making the expression indiscernible). "So. Your kid, sensei. Your son."

He sighed again, and rubbed the back of his head. "You wouldn't make a mistake on the sealing, I know. Not you. And especially not this seal. But it's still…"

Kakashi's tongue stuck on the roof of his mouth. It was hard for him to admit this. "But I'm still afraid you did. What if I have to watch over your kid, but he's not really _your kid_?"

The Hokage Mountain remained silent. Which, if Kakashi were honest with himself, was a good sign. He already had a ghost that haunted him. Did he really want the carved heads of Konoha's past leaders talking back to him? 'No,' is the answer you're looking for. But that didn't mean Kakashi wouldn't stop using the mountain as an external focus for his mental debates. It was more acceptable than talking to himself directly, right?

_Grimace._

Maybe.

"I know, I know," Kakashi muttered. "A ninja shouldn't let fear prevent him from completing a mission."

* * *

The ANBU who guarded Naruto were wary when Kakashi requested to see the kid. According to protocol, they referred the request up to the Hokage, who had control of such things. When the reply came back that the Hokage had okay'd the request, Kakashi was allowed to see the boy with an ANBU agent supervising.

The one-year-old was napping when Kakashi saw him. Curled up on a rather ratty blanket, fine mop of blond hair bright in the dim room (_Oh gods, sensei, he's got your hair…)_, Naruto slept with his mouth slightly agape. His chubby little face was half-mashed into the blanket, but Kakashi could see the whisker-marks on his visible pale cheek-- one of the signs that showed that the kid was the jinchuuriki. Curled on that blanket, hair mussed, sporting those whisker-marks… the kid looked more like a cat than anything. Almost cute, Kakashi mused, if you ignored the fact that he contained a demon.

But Kakashi hadn't come just to compare the kid to various furry animals. The grey-haired ANBU reached out (his escort watching) and gently turned Naruto over onto his back. But evidently, it hadn't been gently enough, or else the kid wasn't as asleep as he'd seemed, because the little blond toddler scrunched up his face and made a little whine-y sound. Then his eyes opened lazily.

Kakashi froze. _:The brat's even got sensei's eyes!:_

The 'brat' focused on the shinobi hovering over him and grinned, showing white little baby teeth. He lifted his hands and reached for Kakashi, who blinked at the little boy. Did he want to be picked up, or something?

"Uh, sorry, kid. Just want to check something," Kakashi mumbled, and then felt ridiculous for talking to a little kid who couldn't understand him. In front of a fellow ANBU, too. Ugh.

Kakashi willed away the embarrassment, and lifted Naruto's shirt so that the seal on his stomach was revealed. Likewise, he lifted his _hitai-ate _so that his Sharingan was revealed. _:Hm. As I thought. The seal's fine…:_

Naruto chuckled happily, seized Kakashi's hand in both of his little ones, and proceeded to shake it about in the air. Kakashi felt his mouth twitch into a small smile involuntarily. Yeah, okay, so maybe his fears had been assuaged. Nothing this cheerful could be the Kyuubi, or soulless. Kakashi extricated himself from the little boy's grip as another ANBU agent came to collect the kid so she could give him his lunch.

"Thank you," Kakashi said to the ANBU who'd escorted him, as he replaced his _hitai-ate_. "That's all I wanted to check."

The ANBU led him back out of the building in which they'd housed the jinchuuriki. Kakashi nodded to him absently and started off toward home, hands thrust into his pockets.

_:Maybe this won't end up too bad, Minato-sensei_,_: _ he thought as he walked. _:If I have to watch out for your son…:_

_:He _is _kind of a cute kid, isn't he?: _Obito said cheerfully, appearing suddenly beside Kakashi. The grey-haired teen glanced at the ghost of his Teammate.

"I would have expected you to show up earlier than this," he murmured. In truth, he'd expected his dead friend to make his appearance right after the Hokage had informed him of Naruto's relation to Minato, or at the very least, when Kakashi had been talking at the Mountain.

_:Well, you didn't really need me then, did you?: _ Obito said prosaically. Kakashi paused.

"That's true," he replied finally, lips quirking.


	9. Guilt and Failure

_TH-- Thanks to those of you who've reviewed, faved, and alerted! I'm glad this has a following, even a quiet one. Um... just, I'm sorry for all the glum chapters... But, jeez, Kakashi's life really seems to have sucked! Poor guy..._

* * *

**In A Life**

**9.** **Guilt and Failure**

Uchiha Obito's last living request of Kakashi was that the grey-haired shinobi take care of Rin. In the specific situation in which the request had been made, it had been obvious how to go about keeping that promise: Kill the Iwa-nins and keep Rin alive. Later on, the precepts became: Protect Konoha so nothing can attack the hospital and threaten Rin. Kakashi had never considered there might be an enemy against which he could do nothing.

The epidemic had started in Ame, they said. It took a couple weeks for it to spread across the border, and a couple more weeks for it to kill a few dozen Fire Country citizens and infect dozens more. It took a couple days after the report for Konoha to send med-nins to help battle the disease.

Rin, being a medic-nin of average-bordering-on-above-average skill, was sent with a couple of her colleagues. The disease took all their expertise and effort to beat. They fought long and hard to find a cure, and they fought long and hard to keep their patients alive long enough for them to actually _have _somebody to _cure_.

Rin had fought so long and hard, in fact, that she'd been dismally weakened by the time she contracted the disease. The sickness, which in its usual victims took a couple weeks to progress to its most dangerous stages, hit her at dawn and had her bedridden by the afternoon. The other medics and the remaining civilian hospital staff kept her alive, somehow, hoping that the cure would be completed soon enough to save her.

The cure _was _completed, three days later, but… It only worked on those with the first two levels of the disease. For the third and fourth it was useless. There was no cure for those whose infection had progressed that far. At least, no cure that they, working at in a limited lab with limited staff, could come up with. They could get the cure for the first two, non-lethal levels of the disease, and the vaccine to prevent others from contracting it, but for those whose bodies had already been viciously ravaged, they couldn't figure out how to keep the half-liquified, half-necrotic bodies to heal. Or how to get the pathogen in the third or fourth level patients to stop its deadly work.

Rin's was already in the third level when the cure was discovered.

She was level four by the time the other medics decided they couldn't find a high-level cure with their present means. Perhaps, the other medic-nins thought, the hospital at Konoha would be better suited.

They didn't add that they thought Rin might rather die at home than abroad. At least, they didn't add it where she could hear. In any case, the disease at the border was contained, and most of the medic-nins returned to Konoha, bearing with them the much diminished Shimizu Rin. She didn't have much time left. If the Konoha hospital could make a cure for the third and fourth levels of the disease, they wouldn't manage to do so in time to save her.

Those who knew her began subtly saying their goodbyes. But for all the tiptoeing everyone did around her, Rin was perfectly aware of her fate. She was, after all, a medic-nin. She understood what was happening to her body. She knew she was dying.

Kakashi, however, had no idea. He hadn't even known she'd left the village; he was on a month-long mission when the call came, then the medics left, and when they came back. He only found out when Obito's ghost appeared, right as the grey-haired ANBU was stalking his target for the final time. It had been three weeks and one day; the hunt was drawing to a close. He'd slowly crept closer to the target in that time, integrating himself so unobtrusively into the doomed man's life that the guards protecting him wouldn't even notice Kakashi's presence.

_:Kakashi,: _said Obito. _:You have to go back to Konoha.:_

Now? He was in the middle of a mission. Pretty literally—he was creeping silently into his target's fortified home, a poisoned kunai in his pouch, ready for use.

_:Yes, now,: _the dead Uchiha said with uncharacteristic grimness. _:Rin is dying.:_

That got Kakashi's attention, and very nearly made him blow his cover by exclaiming out loud. Kakashi turned his lone grey eye on the specter, astonishment and some fear showing in the look. Obito returned the gaze solemnly. _:Hurry. I can help keep her alive long enough for you to say goodbye if you get back in three days. That's it. Hurry, Kakashi.:_

Kakashi hurried, executing his mission directives with an almost reckless speed, and high-tailing it out of there immediately after, pushing himself to his limit getting back to Konoha in forty-nine hours instead of the four days it was supposed to take. He rushed past the gate guards, who shouted after him, their words incoherent in Kakashi's fatigued, turbulent mind.

Another of his Teammates was dying. There was no way in Hell he was going to step through the bureaucratic dance of checkpoint, report, and debriefing. Obito had said he could keep Rin alive for three days. There was a little less than one day left. Kakashi was going to spend it at Rin's side. Where he should have been already.

The grey-haired sixteen-year-old ANBU shinobi was waylaid outside Rin's hospital-room door by a nurse, who called up backup in the form of two doctors and a medic-nin. Together the four of them tried to keep Kakashi from entering the isolation ward, but in the end, Kakashi's stubbornness won out. Or perhaps they find gave into the pity they felt for the wane-looking teen.

They let him into Rin's room with minimal medical accoutrements—he wore only a surgical mask and gloves, though most who entered were required to have received the vaccine to the Ame disease and waited the requisite time for it to be a viable protection.

Masked and gloved, Kakashi entered the room with a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach. Rin was lying on the bed, partially propped up, surrounded by several steadily ticking machines and connected to a number of tubes and wires. She looked pale, and there was a sort of unbalanced look to her that Kakashi didn't fully understand until he realized that one of her legs had apparently been amputated, if the lack of defining bumps under the bedsheets was any indication.

Kakashi paused, suddenly frightened of getting any closer. As if by keeping his distance he could deny the fact that it was Rin, his last living Teammate from Team Minato, who was quietly dying in the bed before him. Then her eyes opened, slowly, as if her eyelids were so heavy it took conscious effort to move them.

"Kakashi," she said in a bare whisper that he would have missed had it not been for his superior shinobi hearing. Kakashi was at the bedside immediately.

"Rin," he managed to say. "I'm sorry…"

"No," she shook her head. "No. Not… your fault. No."

She paused to breathe, as the vehemently whispered (it seemed a whisper was all she could manage) demand that he not blame himself had taken more than she could spare.

"But I-"

"_Don't _Kakashi. Please," her whisper interrupted him somehow. Kakashi shut his mouth on the apology, but he couldn't keep the stab of guilt from striking his heart. He'd sworn to Obito to take care of Rin… and he'd failed. They were silent for a beat, as Rin labored for breath and Kakashi struggled with his guilt and grief. Then:

"Remember… when you told me… you were seeing Obito's ghost?" Rin managed to ask. Kakashi nodded slowly. Rin closed her eyes momentarily, and then opened them again. She smiled wistfully at Kakashi, and whispered with a sort of painful hope: "Is he here now?"

Kakashi swallowed thickly. At the time, she had told him that the ghost of Obito was a hallucination caused by a subconscious reaction to his need for closure. But the tone of her voice now, asking about it…

Immediately after she'd asked, Obito was there, leaning over her on the other side of the bed. All his attention was for the dying girl who he, in life, and perhaps still in death, had loved.

"Yes," Kakashi told Rin quietly. "He's here."

Rin's lips trembled, as if she wasn't even strong enough to keep the smile on her face. "Hi, Obito."

_:Hi, Rin,: _Obito replied, and reached out to slip his incorporeal fingers around Rin's wasted hand. Though she didn't seem to hear or see him, her fingers twitched as if she could feel his touch.

Rin's eyelashes were fluttering as her eyes kept trying to shut and she kept trying to open them. It was losing battle, and her eyes shut in the end.

"Tongue… depressors?" she sighed, before falling silent. It meant nothing to Kakashi, but evidently Obito understood.

_:So you did get it,: _he murmured, his thumb stroking her knuckles. Cold fear hit Kakashi, and his eyes flew to the machine readouts of Rin's vitals. She wasn't…?

_:She's only sleeping, Kakashi. She needs the rest; it was hard for her to stay alive this long.:_

Along with the relief that she hadn't died, another stab of guilt hit Kakashi. She was kept alive, suffering, just because he wanted to say goodbye… Obito sighed, looking up from Rin for the first time since appearing in the room.

_:No, Kakashi. That's not your fault either. Rin wanted to stay alive all this time. Do you understand? She _wanted _to say goodbye to _you_, even though it meant pain.:_

"…'Either'?" Kakashi asked quietly.

_:It's not your fault she was kept lingering in life, and it's not your fault she's dying in the first place,: _Obito explained calmly. Kakashi turned his face away.

"How can you say that? I swore to take care of her for you… And now she's dying. I failed."

_:I hardly expected, when I asked you to protect her, that she would get sick and die from disease.: _Obito said. _:Even you can't be expected to guard against that.:_

"I…"

_:Just admit that I'm right, Kakashi. You're not a god. You'd be an idiot to think you could have prevented this. And right now, I have no patience for idiots,: _Obito's voice was tired. Kakashi shut his mouth on his protest.

"You're right," he told the ghost, at length. A pause…then: "But I'm still sorry."

_:So am I…: _Obito whispered, looking at Rin. Kakashi bit the inside of his cheek to keep from voicing more apologies and self-blame. Obito looked back up at him. _:It won't be much longer now.:_

The proclamation was like a physical blow. Kakashi stepped closer, hands clenched at his sides against the urge to seize Rin, as if he could hold her in life with his grip.

"How long?" he asked through gritted teeth. Obito hesitated, then replied.

_:A couple hours. There's no more reason for her to linger, so she's starting to let go. I won't hold her here any more.:_

"I understand," Kakashi whispered.

_:It really isn't your fault, Kakashi. I don't blame you. And Rin doesn't either,: _Obito said, looking at his old Teammate with honesty and compassion in his dark eyes. Kakashi's gaze flicked to Obito and back to Rin.

"I understand," he whispered again. He pulled one of the chairs in the room over to the bedside and sat down. After a pause in which he weighed the truth of Kakashi's words, Obito accepted the grey-haired teen's response, and reached out again to 'hold' Rin's hand in his.

An hour or so later, Rin's eyes slitted open, just enough that Kakashi could see a glimmer of brown through her lashes. Kakashi slowly put his hand on the bed beside Rin's other hand, the tips of his fingers only just touching the back of her hand. He asked Obito silently— _:Is she awake?:_

_ :Not quite,: _Obito replied solemnly. _:But she can still hear. If you want to say goodbye, now is the time.:_

Kakashi hesitated, then leaned forward to put his mouth by her ear.

"As you say, Rin. Goodbye…"

He leaned back.

Forty-five minutes later, her eyes closed again.

Seventy-six minutes after that, she exhaled softly, but didn't inhale.

Her two Teammates, one living, one already dead, stood watch over her body a few moments longer, and then...

_:I need to go to her. I'm her guide,: _Obito said softly, presumably he meant in death. He waited for Kakashi's response.

"Obito..." Kakashi said after a while. "Take care of her..."

A moment later, Obito replied, his voice thick with emotion: "...Right."

The ghost of Uchiha Obito vanished soundlessly to the border of death, to guide the soul of Shimizu Rin, his one-time-Teammate and beloved, down her proper path before he returned to Life to wait for his last living Teammate.


	10. Wait Your Turn

**In A Life**

**10. Wait Your Turn**

Emergency OR Five was busy, looking like a kicked anthill… if ants wore scrubs and bloody ANBU uniforms. Kakashi dimly watched the bustle from his place, flat on his back on a gurney. His ANBU vest flopped open, his black undershirt cut and peeled back from his torn and bloody flesh. He felt disturbingly weak; unable even to lift his hand. A nurse had given him something for the pain, and now he floated. He hated the feeling, would rather have been feeling the pain, as great as it was. Under the painkiller, he felt disconnected from his body. He couldn't tell the feeling of painlessness from the feeling of dying.

It was marginally frightening, but the painkiller (or whatever she'd given him) was blunting the emotion. He knew he was afraid, but he didn't _feel _it. As much as he hated the cliché of the term 'out-of-body-experience' that was the best way to describe it.

…He supposed that it was cliché for a reason.

Kakashi rolled his eyes to the side, looking at the gurney next to his, on which lay one of his ANBU Teammates. His Dog mask had been shattered by whatever had injured him, and Kakashi could see that shards of the white porcelain were embedded in his face. One had sliced open the cheek so that Kakashi could see the man's teeth through the rent.

_:Mildly disgusting,: _Kakashi noted, again without true emotion. Damn drugs. His head lolled to his other side, and saw the surgeons already working feverishly on the other injured ANBU. She probably wouldn't make it. That was unfortunate; she'd been the best Captain Kakashi had worked under so far in ANBU.

A nurse came by to check on Kakashi. She shouted to someone: "We've got a sucking chest-wound here! Prep him for immediate surgery!"

A sucking chest wound, huh? That would be why it was hard to breathe. Oh… now that he thought about it, he could hear the noise his wound made when he inhaled… gross.

_:I'll say,: _said Obito, standing nearby. _:Gods, Kakashi. You look like a slaughtered pig!:_

He was feeling a little tired… did that nurse do something to him? Huh. He had an IV now. She said to prep him for surgery, right? Did she give him an anesthetic? Was that why it was getting hard to keep his eyes open?

"Oooob'taaa?" Kakashi asked, fumbling the sounds of his late Teammate's name. Obito understood though.

_:Yeah?: _the dead Uchiha asked as some nurses started wheeling Kakashi's gurney under a set of bright lights.

_:Am I dying?: _ Kakashi's lips and tongue didn't seem to work anymore, and it was beginning to sound like he'd cotton stuffed in his ears. He forced his eyes open and looked with dim vision at the ghost of Obito, standing off to the side now.

Obito gave a small, sad smile and shook his head. _:Sorry, Kakashi. Not this time.:_

A vague feeling of mixed disappointment and relief followed Kakashi into the blackness of unconsciousness.


	11. Sharingan Evolution

**In A Life**

**11. Sharingan Evolution**

Kakashi woke abruptly in the wee hours of the morning to a burning in his left eye. Holding his hand over the eye and grimacing.

"Ahh, god, what the…?" he hissed. Rolling out of his bed and stumbling a bit as his head throbbed, Kakashi made his way to the bathroom. Flicking the light on, Kakashi stood before the mirror and slowly took his hand away from his face, squinting. "Oh."

_:Congratulations,: _said Obito, popping up, as he usually did, without warning. _:You have the third and final tomoe of the Sharingan.:_

Kakashi turned his head to the left and the right, blinking, watching the deep crimson Sharingan that had replaced his left eye. Sure enough, there was a third black tomoe lazily spinning in the vivid iris. When he'd received the eye from Obito, there had been two tomoe—the full potential of the eye had not yet been awakened. Of course, that had been a few years ago. Kakashi hadn't been entirely certain the eye would evolve as it normally would have had Obito retained possession of it. It was the Uchiha Clan bloodline limit, and Kakashi had no Uchiha blood in his veins. He'd thought perhaps that the eye would just remain static for as long as he had it, stuck in the state in which he'd received it.

_:Looks like that's not the case,: _Obito said lightly. Kakashi sent the ghost a glare through his pain-tearing eyes.

"Bastard, you knew this would happen," Kakashi accused. Damn! It burned… Kakashi hissed and squinted the eye shut. Obito drifted closer.

_:Hey. What, does it hurt?: _his voice changed, became contrite. _:I didn't think it'd hurt…:_

"Of course if frickin' hurts," growled Kakashi. "I'm not an Uchiha and my chakra pathways weren't genetically designed for a Sharingan! The eye's burning new paths to support its evolution."

_:Damn, Kakashi, I'm sorry,: _Obito said. Hand covering the eye, leaning over his sink, Kakashi shook his head.

"Shut up, Obito. I'm not complaining. Your eye has been useful to me… It was a good gift," he said, smirking a little. Obito grinned, took a swipe at Kakashi's shoulder—his ghostly hand passed through Kakashi without effect, but the good-natured gesture was still evident.

_:Yeah, not such a burden, is it? My gift?: _Obito asked, mocking Kakashi's words back at the start of that fateful mission, when everyone but Obito had given Kakashi a gift in recognition of making Jounin. Kakashi had brushed it off by saying that anything from his Uchiha Teammate would be useless and a burden.

"No… but you're still dead-weight," Kakashi returned. Obito froze, his single eye nearly popping out of its socket.

_:No way! Did you… Did you just make a _joke_?: _he exclaimed.

"I've been making jokes for a couple years now," Kakashi informed his dead friend. "You just haven't noticed because you have no sense of humor."

_:No, it's because telling your Teammates that you're late because you were looking for a priest to perform an exorcism _isn't funny_,: _Obito retorted._ :But _this… _this is a landmark in the wasteland of your comedic efforts! You made a joke. A _pun_. About my being dead!:_

"I…" Kakashi said, uncomfortable with this last point. Perhaps he shouldn't joke about Obito's death; not when it was mostly his fault.

_:No. Don't you DARE apologize, you idiot. That'll negate all of my hard work at trying to get you to loosen up,: _Obito said commandingly. _:You made a pun. It was funny. It made a play on a turn of phrase and my state of ghost-ishness. It means that I'm making headway in one of my goals, which is to lessen your guilt on the subject of my death. Dammit, Kakashi! I don't blame you! My death was a tragedy, okay, I'll accept that. But it was tragedy caused by a million things, most of which were not your doing!:_

"I shouldn't have been made a Jounin captain then," Kakashi said, acknowledging one of those 'million things.' Obito sighed.

_:Maybe not. Minato-sensei did say that Konoha's military force was at an all-time low. We needed the officers, so we promoted some people who might not have otherwise made the grade. But I think you were probably one of the most qualified. You made an excellent Jounin… once you got that stick out your ass. If you hadn't been made a Jounin then, then you would have gotten the promotion very soon after. You _were _qualified. You were just maybe a little young.:_

"You paid for my arrogance then," Kakashi said. Obito made another swipe at Kakashi, this time at the grey-haired teen's head, and this time he made himself corporeal. His hand smacked Kakashi upside the head.

_:And _you're _still paying for it with all your guilt and self-loathing. Shit, man, I think _I _got the better end of the deal!: _As Kakashi put a hand to where Obito whacked him and opened his mouth to argue, Obito crossed his once-more-insubstantial arms and demanded-- _:Well, do you want me to show you how to use that evolved Sharingan, or what?:_

Kakashi had been haunted long enough by Obito to know that further argument was pointless. It was hard to win when your opponent was a ghost who could disappear at will, assuring that he'd always have the last word. Kakashi sighed.

"Yeah fine. So what exactly is different about having three tomoe as opposed to two?"

_:Well…: _Obito started in on Evolved Sharingan 101 gleefully, as Kakashi scrubbed his face and pulled on a training uniform.


	12. Reading Material

_Yay! A happy chapter! Hope you all enjoy. Please review! I, like all authors, do enjoy hearing from my readers._

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**In A Life**

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**12. Reading Material

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_:Hmmmmmm,: _sighed Obito loudly, dramatically. Kakashi tried to ignore the ghost. He'd been sighing and generally being annoying for a while now; ignoring him was getting harder.

Kakashi wandered down the street, looking absently at the shops that lined it, not really seeing any of them. He had the day off, and he was finding it difficult to find anything to occupy himself. He couldn't train—he was still healing from his last mission, and his medic had told him in no uncertain terms that if he messed up all the hard work the mednin had done doing something foolish like training when he should be resting, Kakashi would find himself facing a very irate medic. And all ninja knew that irate medics could make very bad things happen to patients who annoyed them.

So Kakashi was without his usual escapes. What did people _do _if they weren't on missions or training?

_:Hmmmmmm!: _sighed Obito again. Kakashi caved, and flicked an irritated glance toward the transparent Uchiha. Obito looked back at him, innocently. _:What?:_

_ :If you're bored, why are you still hanging around here? You're a ghost, you can do whatever the hell you want!: _Kakashi thought at his dead friend vehemently.

_:Hate to break this to you, but being a ghost isn't real fascinating,: _Obito returned. _:There's nothing for me to do, unless someone dies and needs me to guide them. I just thought your life would be more interesting. You know, since you manage to get yourself into life-threatening situations at least once a week. Just my luck, this is your off-week.:_

Haha. The boy was a _riot_. Sometimes Kakashi wondered just what he'd done in a previous life to deserve such treatment in this one. Haunted by a ghost who thought he was witty.

_:It's not that I'm not witty,: _Obito said, _:it's just that you have no sense of humor.:_

Yeah, whatever.

_:You seriously have nothing better to do than to annoy me right now?: _Kakashi asked. Obito floated through a fresh fruit stand, not upsetting a single melon. Strange, how he could sometimes choose to be completely insubstantial and sometimes choose to be able to touch and interact with things in the living world. Kakashi had been victim of a couple ghost pranks over the years he'd been haunted by Obito.

_:Well…: _Obito said. _:To tell you the truth, there's some big stuff going to go down soon. I'm… sort of waiting for it.:_

Well, that was vague.

_:I'm not allowed to tell you,: _Obito said, seriously. _:It's not my place to interfere with things like that. I'm here to help you, not make you a god.:_

Now it was Kakashi's turn to sigh. Sometimes he also wondered what exactly the reason was for his haunting. Obito had told him once that he'd come back as a ghost to help Kakashi 'with life.' It wasn't really an answer, but Kakashi hadn't really gotten a better one out of his late Teammate. From what he could gather, Obito was around to give him moral support, or something. There were a couple times when Obito would warn Kakashi of an enemy or a trap during missions, so maybe part of Obito's purpose was also to keep Kakashi alive, at least until it really was Kakashi's time to die.

Kakashi's musings were interrupted by the ghost's sudden exclamation-- _:Here! Kakashi! Go in this shop.:_

_ :A bookstore?: _Kakashi asked. Obito circled around him dizzyingly.

_:Yeah! You can buy a book for us! We can read it—I'll look over your shoulder,: _Obito said.

_:I guess…: _Kakashi responded. He could do with a little more knowledge in edible wild plants. When they were out on missions and they—

_:Ugh, no! Get something interesting,: _Obito protested as they entered the store. He hurried over to a shelf. _:Here! Look, these are science fiction… Oo! Zombies!:_

Kakashi didn't much share his friend's enthusiasm. He looked longingly over at the informational section of the bookstore, where his How To books and nature guides waited.

_:Hey! Look at this one, Kakashi! It was written by Jiraiya-sama. He was Minato-sensei's sensei!: _Obito exclaimed, waving at Kakashi. The grey-hair shinobi ambled casually over to where the ghost was.

"The Legend of the Gutsy Ninja," Kakashi read the title. "Huh."

He paged it open and read a bit. It actually didn't sound too bad. Okay, he could do this.

_:Get this one, too! It's also by Jiraiya-sama,: _Obito said, choosing to be partially corporeal and pushing the small novel into Kakashi's hands. Kakashi looked quickly around to see if anyone would have seen what looked to be like a floating book hovering into his hands. _:Relax, no one saw me.:_

_ :We're in public! You should be more careful! The last thing I need is for _more _rumors about me getting around…: _Kakashi grumbled. He stacked the two books in his hands neatly together and glared surreptitiously at Obito, who rolled his remaining eye.

_:Yeah, yeah. C'mon, go buy those—I wanna read now!:_

Kakashi's mouth twisted a little beneath his mask, quirking into a self-deprecating smirk. At the beck-and-call of a ghost…

He went to the front cashier and plopped the books down onto the counter. The man behind it glanced at the books, then took a closer look at the grey-haired shinobi.

"You're a shinobi, huh?" said the man, eyeing Kakashi's _hitai-ate_. Kakashi blinked at the non sequitur.

"That's right," he said slowly. The suspicion cleared slightly from the man's face as his gaze flicked down and took note of Kakashi's flak jacket.

"Alright. That's a thousand four hundred and fifty yen," he told Kakashi, who handed over the correct change.

_:C'mon, Kakashi!: _urged Obito. Kakashi wondered a moment why the Uchiha seemed so impatient as he gathered up his purchase.

The two—shinobi and ghost—made their way to a quiet area of the village; a little forested grotto that was too small to be used by ninja for training and too deep in one of the forested areas of Konoha for civilians to trek to. Kakashi settled down at the base of a tree and slid the books out of their bag. He set "The Legend of the Gutsy Ninja" aside for the moment and looked curiously at the other book Obito had pressed upon him.

"Icha Icha Paradise? What the hell is this, Obito?!"

_:What? It's perfectly legitimate literature, Kakashi!:_

"It's… it's _porn_!" Kakashi growled, paging through it briefly before shaking the book at Obito. Kakashi groaned. "_This _is why the guy asked me if I was a shinobi. He was making sure I was of-age!"

In a Hidden Village, the concept of being 'of-age' varied slightly from civilian villages. The thinking was, if you were old enough to die for your village, you could pretty much handle everything else—alcohol, cigarettes… porn. So, pretty much as soon as you had a _hitai-ate _you could buy those things. Of course, if you looked like a punk-ass little Genin trying to buy cigarettes or what-have-you, shopkeepers still retained the right to refuse you based on age. It helped if you also had a Chuunin vest.

_:Look, we got a book for you and a book for me. Fair's fair, Kakashi!: _Obito said, pouting. It didn't work quite as well as it had when he was eleven, mostly because Obito had aged his ghostly appearance to keep time with Kakashi's aging, and a childish pout didn't look as pitiable on a young adult as it did on a chubby-cheeked kid. _:You don't even have to read it, you just need to hold the book open for me! I'll tell you when to turn the pages.:_

"Is that supposed to make it better? You can make yourself corporeal; hold the book yourself!"

_:That takes effort, Kakashi! And I can't be corporeal for long!:_

Kakashi knew he would regret this, but… "Fine! Fine. I'll hold your stupid book for you. But I expect to be made a Buddha or a god or something when I die, for this," he grumbled reluctantly. "If people see me…"

_:Think of it this way, people won't take you too seriously if they see you're reading porn. Then they'll underestimate you and it'll be easy to beat the crap out of them!: _Obito offered, cheerful now that he'd won.

"A Hatake reading porn… The shame…" Kakashi mumbled indistinctly. He sighed in resignation, and flipped open the book, canting it to the side so Obito could read it more easily over his shoulder.

* * *

"Heh heh…"

_:Kakashi? Are you reading my book again?:_

"…no…"


	13. Signing

_In case anyone was wondering, these are NOT in any particular order. That means they may not be exactly in chronological order.  
_

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**In A Life**

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**13. Signing

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Kakashi had moved out of his family home as soon as he had been able, unwilling to spend any more time than he had to in that house. He'd never really gotten the bloodstains out of the living room floor, and he didn't think anything would be able to exorcise the ghosts from the house's rooms.

Metaphorical ghosts. Not real ghosts. Kakashi had to make that distinction now. Weird.

Shaking the irrelevant thoughts out of his head, the grey-haired shinobi stood in front of the aforementioned house, staring at the door. He'd closed it up after moving out after his twelfth birthday, letting the Hatake house collect dust as he attempted to turn his back on everything his father had given him. But he wasn't running any more.

He narrowed his eyes at the building—No house was going to get the best of him!—and strode firmly down the short path to the front door. The key was held ready in his hand, the metal warmed by his skin. He'd been contemplating this action for a while, sitting in his apartment staring at the key in his palm, before finally coming to a decision and tromping over here. Today he was going to go through all the stuff his father'd left him. After Hatake Sakumo had committed seppuku, Kakashi had inherited everything, including the house, but the young Hatake had boxed everything up except the bare necessities, and then had moved out as soon as he got the chance. He'd never really looked through all the boxes.

Really, it was a daunting task. Sakumo had been a very successful ninja; he had received gifts from clients who had been impressed in some way by his services, and he had been a collector of antique weapons. All the eclectic knick-knacks were piled in one room, and there were two other rooms filled with boxes filled with other random items—clothes, books, scrolls, dishes…

Kakashi tried to ignore the faded blotches on the bare wood of the living room floor—there hadn't been tatami mats laid down in the room since Sakumo had bled his life out over the last batch—as he walked into the house. He grimaced at how dusty everything was, but he really only had himself to blame for the state of neglect the house had fallen to.

His mask kept the dust from irritating his nose or throat, so he walked without particular care through the empty rooms to the back of the house, to the rooms where he'd piled everything.

It took him four hours to get halfway through one room, and then his attention was diverted by one scroll, which he found at the bottom of a box otherwise filled with the ink paintings that had once graced the walls. Kakashi held the scroll in his hands with something like shock.

He didn't remember his father ever having a summon scroll.

And yet, here one was, lying in his hands. And it did, Kakashi noted, as he unrolled it, have his father's name inked onto it, and the blood-finger-prints.

He hesitated all of five seconds, and then he was pulling out the brush and tin of ink that all wise ninja carried with them (you never knew when you'd need to draw a seal, or the like… always be prepared) and carefully brushing his name down the column next to his father's signature. Then, pricking the tip of each finger on one hand, Kakashi pressed the bleeding digits to the scroll. There; he'd signed the contract. Now it was just a matter of testing out the summon. Kakashi wondered what type of animal it was.

He gave a sort of half shrug, and formed the handseals rapidly, slamming his hand down to the floor. Black characters and swirls rushed across the floor from the impact site, and there was a puff of billowing smoke. When it cleared, Kakashi found himself confronted with a group of dogs. He noted with interest that each was wearing a Konoha _hitai-ate_. Ninken, then. Hm.

The pug at the front of the group blinked at him, and then grunted: "Oh, it's the pup. What took you so long?"

"What?" Kakashi said, raising an eyebrow. He also thought '_Pup?' _but figured he'd get the more pressing questions answered first. The pug was resettling himself more comfortably on the floor.

"Sakumo mentioned he had a pup. When we felt him die, we figured you'd be inheriting the contract soon. We didn't expect to sit around for years," it said.

"My father committed suicide," Kakashi said bluntly.

"What?" yelped one of the other dogs. The others shifted, whining slightly.

"My father was shamed and decided to commit _seppuku _to atone," Kakashi said. "He didn't tell me before he did it that I was inheriting a summon scroll. He didn't even tell me he was going to kill himself in the first place."

"Ah," said the pug, shuffling his paws uneasily. "Oh. Well. What was your name again?"

"Kakashi," the youth replied. The dogs' ears twitched.

"Kakashi?" said one. "As in-?"

"Yes," growled Kakashi. He knew what his name meant, thank you; he didn't need anyone to comment on it.

"Then, Kakashi, are you prepared to complete the contract?" asked the pug, who Kakashi was quickly recognizing to be the leader.

The grey-haired shinobi knew that some summons required their contractors not only to just sign the contract but also to go through a rite of passage. It would seem that these ninken were one of such summons. No problem; he would pass whatever test they set him to. Kakashi replied: "Yes."

The ninken looked at him with their tongues lolling out of their mouths in mischievous expressions of anticipation. Kakashi had a moment of wary suspicion—what exactly was the test they were going to set?

* * *

By the time the ninken—Pakkun, Shiba, Uuhei, Bull, Urushi, Akino, Biscuit, Guruko, they gave their names—determined Kakashi to have passed their rite, it was early the next morning, with dawn only just lightening the horizon. Kakashi was covered in scuff marks, with dirt on his cheek and twigs and leaves in his hair. The ninken had weighed his worth through their test: He'd led them in a hunt, impressed them with his sharp senses—especially his nose, over which they expressed some slight surprise, saying that his sense of smell was better even that his father's, and almost as good as a dog's—and succeeded in catching a couple rabbits and pheasants. Small, quick prey. Properly assured of Kakashi's prowess and worth as a contractor, the dogs had welcomed him into their pack.

He knew he would pass their test. Crouched amidst the happily panting dogs, the gnawed bones of their prey scattered around them, he inhaled the crisp night air, catching also the comforting musk of the dogs—his new pack, comrades. His body was still buzzing with adrenaline and the joy of the hunt. He was a shinobi, a predator, just like his dogs.

He knew that he would pass their test. He just hadn't expected to enjoy it as much as he had.

Kakashi looked around at the sprawled forms of the eight ninken, who looked at him with happy canine grins, and grinned back. This contract was going to work out just fine.


	14. A Fate Worse Than DRanks

_Another more light-hearted ficlet here. Not much angsting, if any.  
_

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**In A Life**

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**14. A Fate Worse than D-ranks

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It wasn't that Kakashi didn't _like _the easy jobs. It was just that… well… they were _boring_. Some of the stories he heard, of the missions Genin and Chuunin went on now that peace with Iwa had been obtained… they almost made him glad that he'd been growing up during wartime. Almost. If he were going to weigh the pros and cons of peacetime and wartime, peace would win hands-down. But that wasn't his current point. His current point was that this mission really sucked, and he was glad he hadn't had to do many of the same type back during the war.

_:Escort missions,: _Kakashi thought, _:are horrible things. The Torture and Interrogation Force should use them to soften up prisoners. I'm sure someone could come up with a genjutsu to make them think they were on one.:_

It didn't help that the VIP he was escorting was a teenage girl, daughter of a wealthy Kusa merchant, who apparently was at that damnable age when women started _really _fawning over men. And she'd chosen Kakashi as her object of affection.

Kakashi could hear the echo of Obito's laugh hanging around his ears. Stupid Uchiha thought it was the funniest thing, watching Kakashi fend off the girl. In fact, Kakashi's Teammates for this mission also thought it was hilarious. Kakashi was just annoyed. Sure, she was pretty. Sure, their ages were approximately the same. But really. What man wanted a girl who spoke to him in the high, cutesy voice women generally reserved for cute fuzzy animals? It was hardly flattering.

Not to mention the fact that Kakashi was _trying _to do a _job _here. Having her hanging off him, gushing over how nice his muscles were and how he'd 'look much cuter if he didn't wear that mask, and cut his hair, and wore his bandanna straight.'

_:It's a _hitai-ate, _woman! It means I'm a ninja, which means I'm a freaking _hired killer_, not some knight in shining armor,: _Kakashi grumbled in his head. He was very close to snapping and offing her himself, mission or no. He found himself wishing the caravan would be attacked, if only because he was pretty sure seeing him put a Chidori through someone's heart would dissuade future flirting.

It turned out, in a way, that he got his wish.

* * *

Tsukisha Ibuki was a merchant from Kusa who traded in silks and fabric dyes. He was ridiculously wealthy, and paranoid. Although, that last point was actually for a reason. Because of his success and wealth, there were a fair few people who wanted to try their hand at some easy money-making: i.e. kidnapping. Snatch the merchant's beloved daughter, demand a ransom, and bam! more cash than you knew what to do with. Easy, right?

Well, it would have been, had Kakashi and his Team not been there. Tsukisha had apparently realized the threat to his daughter and decided to use some of his piles of yen to hire protection for her as she traveled from visiting the Land of Fire back to her home in Kusa. A wise choice, since it turned out that a group of bandits and the A-ranked Kiri missing-nin who led them had set their sights on the young miss Tsukisha Hanako.

The fight wasn't very trying. Even with an A-ranked ninja leading them, the bandits were inept and no match for a Team of four Konoha ninja. And the Kiri nukenin was no match for Kakashi, who, at this point, had been advised to consider a career in ANBU.

"I think if you just trim up your hair, maybe style it a little, you'd look so great!" trilled Hanako, who had ordered her palanquin-bearers to carry her beside Kakashi in the caravan. "The silver is so pretty—and fashionable! Did you know that a lot of boys are bleaching their hair to get it lighter? Do you bleach you hair? I don't think so, I mean, I can't see your roots at all…"

Kakashi was mentally slashing his wrists for the fifth time that day when he caught a scent on the air that had him freezing, senses sharpening in alarm.

"Stop," he told the palanquin-bearers, who stuttered to a halt in confusion. "Get down."

Kakashi's Teammates were at his side instantly, alert and scanning their surroundings, as the palanquin-bearers set down the palanquin and crouched beside it.

"What is it?" asked Sarutobi Asuma, an older Jounin who had been placed on this Team while his usual Teammates recuperated from their last mission in the hospital. Kakashi sniffed the air again, concentrating.

"There's a group of men approaching. We're surrounded," he said. Their other Teammates—an Aburame Clansman and a Tokubetsu Jounin called Shiranui Genma—tensed subtly, eyes flickering and calculating.

The Aburame gave a low hiss of exhaled breath, and said: "It's a group of bandits, but there's a shinobi leading them. He's… ah, he's cloaking his chakra. My bugs have lost him."

"Right," Kakashi said. "I can take the shinobi. You three take out the bandits, stay with the caravan as much as possible."

"Understood," they said. They'd been ninja long enough to accept commands even from a shinobi younger that they. Kakashi flash-stepped away; even though the enemy ninja was masking his chakra, Kakashi had other means for locating enemies.

Kakashi scented the air delicately, sorting through the different smells he detected, looking for the telltale scents that would allow him to pinpoint where the enemy ninja was. There was the scent of loam, decaying leaves. The smell of the cloth and lacquer of Hanako's palanquin. There was Genma's distinctive scent, and Asuma's… and there was Aburame Taro. There were the slightly sour points of unwashed bandit, arrayed rather randomly about the caravan. And…

A whiff of Choji oil, the mix of mineral and clove oils that fighters and ninja used in the maintenance of their weapons. Kakashi had him.

Kakashi concentrated, and used the _kawarimi no jutsu_ to switch places with a fallen tree near the enemy shinobi. The man, a taller, older shinobi perhaps in his mid-twenties, spun to face Kakashi immediately.

The Konoha nin's visible grey eye took note of the slashed Kiri _hitai-ate _on the shinobi's head. _:A missing nin, huh? Then killing him won't cause problems.:_

The Kiri-nukenin smirked, seeing Kakashi. "Well, if it isn't one of Konoha's powder-puff ninja… Want to play?"

Kakashi couldn't help it; faced with the sarcasm of the nukenin, he felt stirred to sarcasm himself. "That depends… know any good games?"

They both moved, kunai appearing almost as if by magic in their hands, whizzing toward each other, parrying the other's thrown blades. The missing-nin freed one hand momentarily to give up a piercing whistle. A signal, Kakash guessed, to his bandit minions.

Kakashi used the moment of lag in his opponent's attacks to fly through a couple handseals, calling up a fire jutsu. The ball of flame roared toward the Kiri-nin, forcing him to juke to the side to avoid being burnt to a crisp. In response, the older man used a Suiton jutsu and a spinning maelstrom of water spiraled through the air toward Kakashi. The fight began in earnest.

While Kakashi fought the nukenin, his Teammates were brushing up on their skills fighting multiple opponents. The bandits had the Konoha ninja outnumbered five to one—they were the only protection the caravan had, but the shinobi were more than enough. Versus untrained men wielding shoddy, ill-cared-for weapons that they barely knew how to use, Taro, Asuma, and Genma were sure winners.

And win they did. They quickly secured the caravan, and then Asuma kept Taro and himself to guard against any lingering enemies and sent Genma to search out Kakashi. He didn't expect Kakashi to need any assistance, but he knew not to leave his Teammate without support should he need it.

Kakashi was just searching the dead enemy ninja's body when Genma arrived. The grey-haired shinobi looked up as his Teammate approached. "Missing-nin."

"Ah. From?" Genma asked.

"Kiri."

"Fantastic. We'll report it when we get back to Konoha. His bandit buddies have been taken care of," Genma said.

"Right. Let's get the caravan moving again," Kakashi said. He formed a couple handseals, drew a breath, and released a Katon that consumed the body in a flash.

* * *

The caravan continued on to its destination without further mishap. To Kakashi's relief, the bandit attack had somewhat faded Hanako's devotion to him, thought not quite in the way he'd hoped. Having not seen him fight, and since he'd returned to the caravan after dispatching the missing-nin with no outward sign that he'd fought at all, Hanako had (wrongly) assumed that he hadn't done much in the way of defending her. Kakashi didn't bother to correct her mistake. Especially since having witnessed the other Konoha-nin's defense of the caravan caused her to switch her attentions to Genma, over whom she swooned. A serious case of hero-worship.

"I hate you," Genma had gritted out, glaring at Kakashi, the first night when it became apparent Hanako's target had changed. Kakashi had just given his eye-creasing smile and said:

"But you _did _save her, Genma. You can hardly begrudge her the gratitude."

"I _really _hate you," Genma had seethed, before Hanako had flounced over to drag the poor soul to sit by her, babbling something about how his brown hair would look so much more stylish if he bleached it…

Really, Kakashi had mused, it _was _hilarious when it wasn't you.


	15. Missing Nin

_Because I think that, in a profession like Kakashi's, you need something to keep you from falling out of grace.  
_

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**In A Life

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**15. Missing Nin

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Konoha, for all that it was one of the more peaceful Hidden Villages, was still a ninja village. It knew how to fight, how to defend itself. It housed within it two very strong ninja clans, and several less-powerful clans. It had been involved in several wars, and had endured. Its Yondaime Hokage had been powerful enough to seal the Kyuubi no Youko, the most powerful bijuu.

But like any other Hidden Village, Konoha had missing-nin. There were, perhaps, fewer Leaf nukenin than from other villages, possibly because of the peacefulness, the way Konoha had integrated more human emotions into the nindo it taught its ninja… But nevertheless, there are always malcontents. There are always people who believe they are above something. There are always people who believe that the village is an enemy that is against them.

When those people act on their feelings, abandoning the village and endangering its people with their treason, then Konoha's nin are called to kill one of their own.

Kakashi was chosen this time for the Hunt. He was ANBU, proficient in assassination-style jutsu, and skilled at tracking. And with his summons, sending Kakashi out on a mission was not sending one ninja out. It was sending nine.

"Pakkun, I want you with me. The other groups are thus: Shiba and Guruko; Bull and Urushi; Biscuit, Akino, and Uuhei. We'll run in a grid pattern. Tsugau doesn't have advanced chakra sensing, he won't know we're coming if we mask our chakra. So make sure you have masks in place. If you pick up his trail, or find him, don't engage. Call me with these scrolls. Alright?"

"Got it," responded the dogs. Kakashi nodded.

"Move out." They flash-stepped away, moving through the forest toward their target.

Fuuji Tsugau was a former Konoha Tokubetsu Jounin, one who had worked in the intelligence sector. He knew things about Konoha that couldn't be released from the village. Unfortunately, he was also a younger man, one with inflated ideas of his own glory, and ambitions beyond his limits. He'd applied to ANBU four times, and had been turned down each time. This had embittered him, and eventually he'd come to believe that Konoha was purposefully keeping him from his destiny because the village's leaders feared him.

His psych evaluations—required for all ninja at regular intervals—indicated that he was not, in fact, deranged… just arrogant and foolish. And dangerous enough to have killed a pair of Chuunin gate guards on his way out of Konoha. Those murders, in combination with his knowledge of sensitive village secrets, meant that there would be no mercy for Tsugau. Kakashi's orders were to kill him.

It was the three-dog team of Biscuit, Akino, and Uuhei that found the target first. After gaining the trail, they called Kakashi using one of the scrolls the shinobi had given to each group.

Without even a whisper of sound, Kakashi appeared crouched on a tree branch near the dogs. His eyes were already scanning the surroundings, but he flicked his gaze toward them and nodded. He'd caught the trail also. With a few quick handseals, Kakashi called the other teams back to him, and the pack regrouped for the final run of the hunt.

It took half a day to catch all the way up with Tsugau. The doomed man didn't even realize that death had caught him until Kakashi dropped directly in front of him from the thick canopy of the trees above them.

Tsugau had taken one look at Kakashi's ANBU-issue armor and white porcelain wolf mask, and scrambled to turn and run in the opposite direction. He found himself, however, hemmed in on all sides by growling dogs.

"Fuuji Tsugau," Kakashi said solemnly. "You have been tried and found guilty of the murder of two Konoha ninja and of treason toward your village. Your sentence is death."

"Fuck you!" Tsugau snarled, kunai suddenly in his hands. Kakashi dodged the projectiles easily, and flash-stepped to stand behind the Tokubetsu Jounin.

The grey-haired teen slid the point of his own kunai into Tsugau's neck, between two vertebrae, severing the older man's spinal cord and killing him instantly. Kakashi caught the body as it crumpled, easing the weight down to the forest floor gently.

"A clean kill," said Pakkun approvingly. Kakashi closed Tsugau's blank eyes.

"He didn't feel much," the teen agreed. He just wished that the same were true for him. Even though Kakashi knew Tsugau deserved his punishment—the man's defection could have, would have, caused many more deaths of Konoha residents—but that didn't mean Kakashi enjoyed killing what used to be one of his comrades.

Kakashi took Tsugau's slashed _hitai-ate _off the man's head, to turn in to the Hokage as proof of the mission's success.

Sometimes, he wondered why he'd become a shinobi. There was little joy in it; Kakashi had lost his childhood, his eye, his friends, and several times almost his sanity, because he'd become a ninja.

Of course, he was reminded of his reasons whenever he looked around Konoha and saw its people alive and happy, safe.

"Kakashi?" said Shiba, leaning against the ANBU's leg. Kakashi shook away his thoughts and returned to the task at hand. He arranged Tsugau's corpse on the ground and stood beside it.

"May you be wiser in the next life," Kakashi said, and incinerated the body with a Katon. Cremation was the ritual treatment the dead received in Fire Country, and was also standard procedure for ninja to dispose of bodies that they didn't wish to be found.

Kakashi turned to his ninken, who were more solemn in this hunt than in the happy, wild runs they'd shared before. It was the first time Kakashi had used them in one of his assassination missions; all the other times he'd run with them they'd been pursuing less sinister prey.

"You're okay, kid," said Pakkun gruffly, surprising Kakashi somewhat. Then he realized that he'd impressed them with his humane treatment of the traitor—other nin might have drawn out the kill, or disrespected Tsugau's corpse, out of spite or contempt for the man's treachery.

Kakashi was glad that his ninken seemed to have morals; perhaps they'd help him keep his.

He turned south. "Let's go home."


	16. Cloud Watching

_Hey all. Next chapter coming your way! I'd like to thank you all who've reviewed and faved and alerted and all that jazz. 'Specially Prescripto13, who's been reviewing pretty regularly_-- _much appreciated!

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**In A Life

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**16. Cloud-watching

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The sheer audacity of it ticked Kakashi off. Here they were, welcoming the Kumo diplomats and their ninja entourage into Konoha, trying to improve the relations between the two Hidden Villages, and the damn Kumo-nin had to go and make trouble. Not just any trouble, either. One of those stupid, bold-as-brass, _idiotic_ Kumo shinobi had to go and _attempt to kidnap the Hyuuga heiress_. And then the Hidden Cloud Village had the _gall _to demand recompense for the death of their foolhardy ninja. A death for a death. How could Konoha agree to that? They were supposed to acquiesce to the death of the Head of Hyuuga Clan in payment for the death of a general (though powerful) Kumo shinobi? After that Kumo-nin had been the one to create the problem?

Of course, to refuse to appease the Hidden Cloud would mean war, and Konoha had had quite enough of that. And in any case, they didn't really have any proof beside the word of the Hyuuga Clan that the Kumo-nin had attempted to kidnap the Head's daughter. The Cloud shinobi couldn't speak for himself, as he was thoroughly dead. And the other Kumo ninja and dignitaries had claimed it was all a misunderstanding and that the Hyuuga had not had the provocation to kill their comrade.

_:Like hell,: _Kakashi thought uncharitably, as he crouched hidden on the rooftop, a silent sentry. He, along with seven other ANBU agents, had been assigned as watchers, to make sure the other Cloud visitors did not put a single toe out of line.

Their leaders and the Hokage and his council were in meetings to try to smooth the whole affair over. Kakashi had a bad feeling this wasn't going to end well.

_:The meeting is in recess,: _Obito said, appearing suddenly over Kakashi's shoulder. _:The Hyuuga Clan has asked for some time to determine what course of action they are willing to take.:_

_ :This is _not _going to end well,: _Kakashi thought again, uneasily. Obito shook his head in agreement.

_:No,: _the ghost said quietly. _:No, I don't think it will.:_

His nerves non-withstanding, Kakashi had a job to do. So he compressed himself into an even tighter crouch, and stared down at the building in which the Kumo delegation had been housed. Obito faded away, presumably to eavesdrop on the Hyuuga Clan meeting.

_:This feels wrong. I just get the sense like… like it's a test. Like Kumo is testing us.: _Kakashi frowned behind his mask, identifying what his instincts were telling him, but not understanding why. It wasn't too long after the Third Shinobi War. And the Kyuubi attack had only been a few short years ago. Perhaps Cloud was sounding out how weakened Konoha was. But that didn't really answer why they'd attempt the kidnapping. It was no secret that Kumo had been interested in the Hyuuga Byakugan for years, so that might explain it. However, Kakashi just couldn't shake the feeling that this, or some part of this situation, was a test.

_:Konoha has been accused of being weak, because of our aversion to using the more fatal techniques of teaching our ninja students. Because we don't purge our population of undesireables. Because we don't condone needless killing.: _Kakashi's chest twinged. _:They're… they're not just seeking recompense for their comrade's death. They're testing to see if we're willing to sacrifice one of our own for our benefit.:_

_ :Kakashi!: _Obito coalesced in front of the wolf-masked ANBU, looking shocked. His lone right eye was wide. _:Hyuuga Hizashi has volunteered to take his brother's place as the sacrifice!:_

_ :What!?: _Kakashi wanted to say aloud, but he just managed to keep it silent. _:Hyuuga Hizashi… Hiashi's twin brother…:_

_ :He's going to commit _seppuku_. They're going to give the body to the Cloud nin afterwards,: _Obito gritted out. That was only expected—the Kumo delegation had demanded the body of the perpetrator in payment. They always had wanted the Byakugan.

Hizashi was Hiashi's younger twin. As such, he was relegated to being a member of the Branch-family, and inflicted with the Caged Bird Seal. Even though the Cloud ninja would be getting his body, upon death, the seal would lock away the Byakugan. They would not get that. In a way, this was the logical path the Hyuuga would take. However…

_:Does Hizashi have any children?: _Kakashi wondered grimly. Obito looked pained.

_:…He has a young son,: _the Uchiha responded quietly, watching his orphaned friend with concern. A muscle twitched in Kakashi's jaw, his fists clenching in fury at his helplessness. There was no way he could stop this. Hizashi would die in the place of his brother, Kumo would receive a useless body, Konoha would not go to war, and a young boy would lose his father. Was it the right thing?

Kakashi found he couldn't answer one way or the other.

He'd known this wouldn't end well.


	17. Green

**In A Life

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**17.** **Green **

"Obito," Kakashi said, his voice slightly hoarse, his tone no-nonesense. "Remember when you said that day we went to the bookstore that you were waiting for something big to happen?"

_:Yes…: _Obito replied, sounding grimly like he knew where this was going and didn't like it one bit. Kakashi didn't look at his translucent ghost companion as he continued:

"Was _this_ what you were waiting for?"

_:One of the things, yes,: _Obito replied somberly, bluntly. Kakashi slowly turned his head toward the ghost.

"You knew your clan, your whole clan, was going to be massacred, and you _didn't do anything to prevent it?_" Kakashi asked, his voice becoming horribly dangerous and cold. Obito shook his head.

_:You don't understand, Kakashi,: _the dead Uchiha said, uncharacteristically stern and serious. _:There are rules. I cannot interfere with the living world like that.:_

"Then why the hell are you here?" Kakashi snarled. "To help me? To help me what? Watch my village fall to pieces around me?"

_:I'm here to help you stay on a path that will keep you from self-destructing!: _Obito snapped. _:I'm here to make sure you stay alive to do the things you need to do! You don't understand what's at stake here.:_

Kakashi gave a short, bitter bark of laughter. "What, you expect me to believe that I'm destined for great and important things? Am I going to save the world, or something? Please."

_:Stop being melodramatic,: _Obito snarled, in a show of sharp emotion totally unlike the generally cheery boy he'd been in life. _:It doesn't have to be so dramatic as that. You can't see the bigger picture; you don't _get _it. There are forces at work in the world that overshadow forces like me, like you. Besides, if I had told you what was going to happen with the Uchiha Clan, what would you have done?:_

"I would have stopped Itachi," Kakashi said immediately. "One way or the other."

_:By which you mean you would have killed him,: _Obito said. _:And then, since there would be no evidence to support why you'd done it, _you _would be the missing-nin. _You _would be hunted by Konoha.:_

"Better Konoha loses two than two-hundred," Kakashi sniped. "Better Itachi die and I be eliminated than a whole clan be slaughtered."

_:What about what you have to do here? What about what you can, WILL, do for Konoha? You don't see the big picture! The fall of the Uchiha Clan has been a long time coming, but it _was _coming. It was going to happen—you should only be so glad that when it fell, it didn't take down all of Konoha with it.:_

"How can you even say all this?" Kakashi demanded. "I know you didn't get along with your Clan. Hell, _I _didn't even really like them, but you aren't even showing the least bit of remorse for their deaths!"

_:Am I not?: _Obito said bitterly. _:What do you know of mourning, of death? Do you think you know more of what death is than I? You have seen people die, but you have not died yourself. You do _not _know what death is.:_

"Are you trying to tell me that I shouldn't mourn the dead because they're 'in a better place now'?" Kakashi asked caustically. Obito shot him a look that said the ghost was not pleased.

_:Not all of them are,: _the Uchiha replied coldly. This struck Kakashi, and he faltered. The grey-haired shinobi remembered suddenly when Rin had died, that Obito had said something about leading her spirit to its proper place in death. Had Obito played guide to all the slaughtered members of his Clan? Had he lead some to the darker paths of death, and others to the lighter? Some of Kakashi's anger and frustration bled away.

"Why?" he asked Obito, quietly, deflating. "Why did he do it?"

_:I can't say,: _Obito replied, his own voice lowering.

"Did the Clan pressure him too much? Was he just mentally unstable? Did Konoha teach him incorrectly? Did we turn him into a cold, uncaring murderer?" Kakashi asked, knuckles turning white as he clenched his fists.

_:I can't say,: _Obito said again. _:Itachi is still alive, and I can't interfere with the living world.:_

"But you _know_."

_:…Yes. I know.:_

"He killed his own family," Kakashi murmured after a brief silence. Obito stirred.

_:And you wanted to leave your Teammate to her death at the hands of Iwa nin. And you never really mourned your father,: _Obito said, with no particular inflection. Kakashi's head whipped around to stare at the dead Uchiha.

"What-?" he started to ask, a frown forming on his face. Obito interrupted calmly.

_:Sometimes the actions of others are incomprehensible. Don't judge Itachi too harshly, Kakashi. I'm sure he felt his actions justified, even if you don't understand it. And as I said before, be glad the damage was contained to just the Uchiha, and did not spread to the rest of the village.:_

"You sound like you're defending him," Kakashi said.

_:Not really,: _Obito replied. _:I'm just trying to get you to stop hating him. Hate is an ineffectual emotion. It hinders more than helps. It's a waste of energy. And no matter what a person does, you shouldn't hate them.:_

"Giving me moral lessons now, Obito?"

_:I'm here to guide you,: _the ghost returned. _:If that means instilling in you a moral code beyond that which you have now…:_

"Obito…" Kakashi sighed. "I don't hate Itachi."

A spectral eyebrow lifted.

"Mostly I… just don't understand him. Why he did this. I guess I…" Kakashi paused, looking down.

_:You were jealous of him,: _Obito said, in sudden realization. _:You were jealous of his family, because you didn't have one.:_

Kakashi looked away. Sighed. "Yes. As much as I believed the Uchiha Elders to be arrogant fools… I envied Itachi his family. The grass is always greener on the other side, you know? They were so proud of him, valued him so highly. And he killed them."

_:And that makes you angry, and confused. You don't understand why someone would throw that away.:_

The grey-haired shinobi didn't respond right away. He stared at the ground for a moment before saying quietly: "The world is messed up, Obito."

_:Don't hate, Kakashi.:_

"I don't. I won't. Sometimes I think… maybe I can't feel. Emotion. The strong ones."

_:It won't last,: _Obito reassured him. _:The numbness.:_

"Sometimes," Kakashi hesitated, "I want it to. Last."

Obito gave a crooked sort of smile, sadness lingering at the edges of the expression. He started fading from sight, going wherever it was that he went when not haunting his living Teammate, leaving his parting comment drifting on the air. _:You might understand Itachi more than you think you do.:_

Kakashi closed his eyes, too weary at the moment to try to decipher the cryptic closing remark.


	18. Henohenomoheji

_TH: Hey all. Something a bit lighter in tone this time. Hope you enjoy. Please read and review! Even if it's just an anonymous three-word review, it's still appreciated._

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**In A Life**

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**18.** **Henohenomoheji**

Kakashi stared in disbelief at his _ninken_. All eight of the working pack were arrayed before him, varying in size, shape, and color. Most of them were mutts, but occasionally a specific breed's characteristics showed in coloration, bone-structure, or facial features. The only thing the eight had in common in their appearances were their Konoha _hitai-ate_. Or at least, that _had _been their only common feature, until now.

"No. Absolutely not. I refuse to allow it," Kakashi said firmly, lifting his arms and crossing them to form an 'X' in front of his chest. Some of the more emotive dogs' ears drooped.

"Why not?" asked Pakkun. "It makes sense. It's what they put on scarecrow-faces, and your name—"

"_No_," growled Kakashi. "I _know _my name means scarecrow. That doesn't mean everything associated with scarecrows can be associated with _me_."

"You should be touched that we'd wear something that associates _us_ with _you_."

"You're '_touched'_ to want to," Kakashi retorted.

"Points for wit," Pakkun said, "but you're looking at it the wrong way."

"How am I supposed to look at it? You're sporting vests with scarecrow faces on them in a horrible pun against my name."

"We want to!" said Biscuit, as Bull leaned his head against Kakashi's leg in mute agreement. "We like you!"

"We're wearing them because we have, and _you _have—even if you don't want to admit it—a sense of humor, and because we're proud to hold a contract with you. It's the same thing as wearing a _hitai-ate_. It's a symbol of loyalty and dedication," Pakkun explained patiently.

Kakashi paused, feeling slightly guilty now. Then his involuntary guilt made him annoyed. Dammit! No matter what his name was, _he wasn't a scarecrow_!

"I _hate _scarecrows," Kakashi muttered.

"Why?" asked Shiba curiously, looking up at his contractor with wide, beseeching eyes. In fact, all the pack were giving him puppy-eyes. Kakashi scowled.

"I just do," he responded, looking away. The dogs paused.

"Ah," said Pakkun smugly. "You're afraid of them."

"No, I'm not!" Kakashi yelped, glaring at the pug. Pakkun rolled his eyes.

"Please. You can't fool this, Kakashi," the dog said, patting his nose with a paw. "And this says you're afraid."

"I am _not _afraid of scarecrows," Kakashi said. The dogs' noses twitched. "Well. They are a _little_ creepy, I suppose."

Shiba, Uuhei, and Akino's heads tilted. Bull licked his fangs and Pakkun gave a small snort. The other dogs politely inspected their paws. Kakashi slumped.

"Okay, so they're creepy as hell. What do you expect?! They're just standing there, in fields… watching… all the time. And they're, you know, human-shaped, but _just slightly _wrong. It's freaky."

"Hm," said Pakkun. "Don't be afraid; they don't hurt their own."

Kakashi eyed the pug, decidedly unamused. "I hate you all, and you're never getting sausages off of me ever again."

This provoked a response; the dogs whined, ears lowered, and heads drooped. Some of the dogs looked to Pakkun, who was their de facto leader. He gave them a reassuring tail twitch.

"You're lying," the pug stated.

"Okay, so maybe I don't hate you," Kakashi admitted. The dogs perked back up. "But I was serious about the sausages."

"Kakashi!" whined Urushi, pawing at Kakashi's foot. The human folded his arms and looked down at the wilting dogs. He rolled his eyes.

"What happened to that sense of humor you all apparently have?" he asked dryly. The dogs lifted their heads and looked Kakashi in the eye.

"There's no such thing as joking about food," said Uuhei seriously. The others nodded solemnly in agreement. Kakashi sighed, leaning his forehead on one palm.

"Fine," he said in surrender, "you can wear the vests, and I won't stop giving you sausage."

"Sausage!" barked Shiba joyously, as the others' tongues lolled out in canine grins. Pakkun grinned smugly at Kakashi and turned to his other packmembers… flashing Kakashi with the scarecrow face that had been painted onto the navy blue vest covering the pug's back. Kakashi grimaced.


	19. Retire

_TH: Thanks for the big response to the last chapter. I really appreciate all the reviews!!

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**In A Life**

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**19.** **Retire

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_:Aren't you a little young to be retiring?:_

"I'm not retiring," Kakashi explained. "I'm returning to less specialized service. I'm not giving up my _hitai-ate_. I'm just giving up my ANBU mask."

Obito's head tilted to the side and he regarded Kakashi thoughtfully. _:Why?:_

"I couldn't continue my current duties," Kakashi responded.

_:Tch,: _Obito spat. _:Don't give me that bullshit military-speak nonanswer.:_

Kakashi gave the ghost a dark look. He went back to sharpening the set of kunai laid out in front of him. He didn't answer. Obito narrowed his lone eye, waiting. Finally, his impatience proved too much, and the Uchiha growled _:What was the _real _reason, Kakashi?:_

"Can't you just pick it up from my mind? You seem to do that with other things," Kakashi's voice was purposefully apathetic, designed to annoy.

_:Only the thoughts you let float to the surface of the cesspit you call your consciousness,: _Obito sniped. _:Stuff you don't want me to know, either subconsciously or consciously, your mind protects.:_

"Is that so?"

_:Yes. Yes it is.:_

"Well," Kakashi drawled. "If you really want to know…"

_:Kakashi. Cough it up.:_

The grey-haired shinobi gave Obito a considering look. "Why do you want to know so bad?"

Obito met Kakashi's eye. He sighed. _:I need to know if my worry is justified.:_

"Worry? Worry about what? Ah…" Kakashi paused as the answer came to him. Kakashi's whole life had been service to Konoha. There had never been a time when he hadn't been a shinobi of the Hidden Leaf Village. He'd graduated at 5, made Chuunin at 6. Jounin at 13. A few years later, he was ANBU. And he served faithfully in the Black Ops for several years after that. Until now. That he was leaving ANBU abruptly and seemingly out-of-the-blue would be worrisome to those who knew him. Kakashi paused for a moment, inspecting the kunai in his hands. Without looking up, he told Obito quietly: "I left because I didn't want to be sent on any more assassination missions."

He tossed the kunai down onto the pile awaiting sharpening and scrubbed his hands through his hair. "I just couldn't do it anymore. So I went to the Hokage and respectfully withdrew from the active ANBU roster."

Obito regarded Kakashi for a long silent moment. Then he said quietly _:I understand.:_

Then he paused and said, with carefully cultivated curiosity _:Do you think you can still have a retirement party?:_

The ghost was relieved and triumphant to see a smirk touch Kakashi's face under the ever-present mask, erasing the former blank, haunted look that had been there.

"Idiot."

Obito grinned. _:Jerk.:_


	20. Is This Really A Good Idea?

_TH: Hi again. Next chapter up. Enjoy._

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**In A Life**

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**20.**** Is This Really a Good Idea?**

On a scale of bad ideas with one being akin to drinking a quart of milk immediately before running five miles, and ten being asking Orochimaru to babysit your kid, giving Kakashi a Genin Team was flirting the line between seven and eight. He couldn't really connect with children, having never really been one himself. Sure he'd been child-sized and child-aged, but in mental and emotional regards? Nope. Never been a child.

It was fortunate, then, that he had the option of declining the… 'honor.' Of course, that failed when the Sandaime expressed his disappointment in Kakashi's anti-student stance.

"You are one of our best Jounin, with a solid grasp on all levels of the ninja arts and well-rounded in your knowledge; you are qualified to teach. You were also an ANBU squad captain for a couple years, and thus know how to lead and how to keep your Team alive," the Hokage had said.

"But I don't know kids," Kakashi had protested. "And keeping ANBU alive is probably much easier than keeping Genin alive. If you're in ANBU, you generally already know how to keep yourself breathing."

The Sandaime hadn't been impressed with his argument. The rejoinder made sure that Kakashi had agreed to put his name down as a Jounin instructor: "If you feel like you'd have a problem with it, I can always have Gai give you some pointers."

Of course, just because Kakashi was assigned a Genin Team after every Academy graduation (or at least the ones for which he was in the village and not on an extended mission) didn't mean he _took on _a Team. Not one of them had passed his deceptive bell test. And that was just the way Kakashi liked it. And the Sandaime couldn't fault him for failing them all; Sarutobi understood the meaning and the importance of the bell test's lesson, and so allowed Kakashi to continue administering it.

He hadn't expected Team Seven to be any different, even though the Sandaime had made it a point to inform Kakashi of the identities of his new Genin. Everything he'd heard about the three pre-teens that had been assigned to him had indicated that their chances at passing were dismal at best, no matter their parentage or skills. An aloof Uchiha with a superiority-complex, Konoha's resident Master Trickster, and a girl with more booksmarts than practical skill. And then, when Kakashi had met them, he'd seen the intense rivalry between the two boys, and the lovestruck foolishness of the girl. Even if it pissed the Hokage or the Council off, Kakashi _would _fail them, if they didn't grasp the meaning of his bell-test. And that had seemed the most likely outcome.

Of course, he should have known better. Team Seven, despite their faults, had some serious potential. Not to mention it included Konoha's Number One Most Unpredictable Ninja. Naruto had a habit of making impossible or improbable things happen.

Kakashi guessed it could have been worse. In fact, in a way, Team Seven reminded him of Team Minato. The roles were a little scrambled, but all the players were there. Girl-Teammate loved aloof boy-Teammate who did not reciprocate. Other, loud, boisterous boy-Teammate loved girl-Teammate who didn't reciprocate. Boy-Teammates were intense rivals. There was a certain symmetry to how things had turned out… or was that irony?

In any case, part of him was glad he'd have the chance to watch Minato-_sensei_'s son grow, as the Sandaime had hinted he would, those years ago. Another part was a little nonplussed to see how little Naruto took after his father in attitude; that cheerful, mischievous force of presence was all Kushina, for all Naruto looked like a miniature copy of Minato.

For his two other students, it was logical and obvious why he'd been given responsibility for them. He just hoped he'd figure out this teacher thing fast enough to be useful to them. If he was going to have a Genin Team, he might as well try to do a good job of it.


	21. Prognosis

_Hey all. Next chapter coming your way! Again, big thank you all who've reviewed and faved and alerted and all that jazz. I love hearing from you guys.__

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**In A Life

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**21.** **Prognosis

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_:He's a brat. Even more so than _you _were, and that's saying something,: _Obito said bluntly.

"Maa, maa," Kakashi said weakly, rubbing the back of his head with one hand and holding the other up palm-out. "He isn't _so _bad… And he does have some basis for being so—"

_ :Angst-ridden?: _Obito suggested waspishly.

"Uh…" Kakashi replied. "Well, I was going to say 'cynical'."

Perched on the railing of the lookout on top of the library, Obito's ghost fixed the grey-haired shinobi with a Look. Kakashi withheld for a few moments, and then sighed. "Alright, you're right. Sasuke is an angsty little brat. But he did see his whole family killed by his brother, and then had said brother almost kill _him_."

_:That doesn't excuse him for treating his comrades with such contempt. Seriously, I would have expected you to be all over that. You always hated the Uchiha superiority-complex, and the kid's got it bad.:_

"I can't come down too hard on him, or he'll clam up on me and never listen to what I have to say again. I've tried to put through the message that Team matters, and I would have thought he'd have acquired some humility by now. He did almost die at the hands of Zabuza and his apprentice," Kakashi mumbled. "But it doesn't seem to stick too well."

_:I wish I could pop in on him, too,: _Obito punched his fist into his other hand, _:I'd beat some sense into him! Metaphorically, of course. Since I'm incorporeal, and all that.:_

"Genius, Obito," Kakashi said dryly.

_:Shut up,: _the deceased Uchiha said without missing a beat. He rubbed his nose and muttered _:It would help if the kid weren't so strong. He does have that going for him, but it makes him into an insufferably arrogant little guy.:_

"Sasuke does have talent, and still more untapped potential," Kakashi agreed. "But anyway, what about my other Genin?"

_:I can't really get anything from the girl…: _Obito said. _:She's hopelessly infatuated with the Angst-Brat, for whatever reason. She does have good chakra control, but doesn't have any motivation to improve. I don't think she's devoted to being a kunoichi. She'll probably wash-out and quit, wake up and get better, or die.:_

"Great," Kakashi said, palming his face.

_:Ah, not that you'll let her die, of course,: _Obito backtracked hastily.

"Thanks Obito," came Kakashi's muffled retort.

_:Ah… Um, anyway… Sensei's kid isn't much like him, is he?:_

"Naruto?" Kakashi grunted. "I think part of it is that the only way Naruto can get attention is by doing one of his little pranks. The kid is starved for attention, has been his whole life, and now is overcompensating by being a loud, rude trickster. He can be serious, when he wants to."

_:His marks at the Academy were low?:_

"Partially a product of teachers neglecting him because of his captive, and the overload of chakra from his captive as well. He has so much chakra it's almost impossible for him to channel it correctly at this point. But he's improving."

_:Hm, well, you know, your Genin don't seem too bad, all around. It could have been worse. You could have had _us_,: _Obito joked, grinning. Kakashi rolled his eyes.

"Are you blind or something? I _do_."

Obito's one eye blinked a couple times before widening dramatically. _:You're _right_! They _are _us!:_

Obito hooted with laughter, pointing toward Kakashi, and choked out _:It's karma!: _beforedissolving into chuckles. Kakashi folded his arms and waited for his late friend to compose himself. It took a little while, but Obito calmed, wiped spectral tears from his ghostly eye.

Finally assuming a more serious expression, Obito said _:You know, I think I understand your stance about Sasuke.:_

Kakashi eyed Obito warily. The Uchiha's grin broke free and he said _:You emo ones have to stick together, after all!:_

"Obitoooo…" Kakashi growled, unamused.


	22. Springtime

_So I noticed that whenever Maito Gai is speaking I find myself using a lot of exclamation points. And by a lot, I mean ending every sentence with them._

_...Your mind can't repel __enthusiasm of that magnitude!_

:P_  
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**In A Life

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**22.** **Springtime

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The first time Kakashi encountered Maito Gai was during a mission. Gai and his Team had been sent as backup for Kakashi's Team when the Hokage became concerned with the time it was taking them to complete their A-rank mission. If you asked Kakashi, he would have said that everything had been under control and if they had needed assistance they would have called for it. Not that he was criticizing his Hokage…

In any case, the reinforcements arrived just in time to see the mission come to a head. Which is to say, become a chaos of battle and death.

It was true that Kakashi and his Teammates were outnumbered by the enemy about five-to-one, but that was hardly a concern considering the relative strengths of the Konoha nin and their opponents. Still, Gai and his Teammates divided themselves to each pair off with Kakashi and his Teammates. It was Kakashi's misfortune that Gai decided to help him out.

Kakashi was already in motion, only vaguely noting the arrival of Gai in the back of his mind, the majority of his concentration taken up by the five enemy nin he was facing. He had a kunai in hand and was using _Kawarimi and Shunshin _liberally to dance circles around two of them, while the other three tried in vain to hit him with a barrage of kunai, shuriken, and senbon.

_:Behind you, coming up on the left,: _Obito called out, and Kakashi automatically whirled around to kick the enemy away with a iron-hard snap kick. A shuriken followed, and sliced into the enemy's throat. He went down with a gurgle.

Then, spinning around so fast he seemed to become a blur, Kakashi launched kunai at two of the others as they gaped in shock at their comrade's death. They joined him shortly.

"Ah!" exclaimed a voice loudly behind Kakashi, "Truly your skill is as bright as the burning of the sun!"

Kakashi ignored it, trying to figure out whether the other enemies had been dispatched as well. It seemed so, but…

_:Ka—: _Obito started, but Kakashi had already sensed the chakra signature and was moving. The last enemy nin was trying to sneak away; he was sporting several wounds but was still mobile. He was also right behind Maito Gai.

"Don't let him get away!" Kakashi shouted, and Gai started to turn. The enemy nin also heard the shout, though and started running, dropping all pretense of stealth.

_:Too slow!: _Kakashi thought, and his hand snapped automatically out and forward. The senbon appeared almost by magic in his hand, and flashed like silver lightning toward the enemy. The metal needles hit the enemy in a spray across his back and legs; some hit the muscles and tendons in the back of his knees, and he dropped. Gai was there in a blink, and delivered a nerve-tap that put the enemy out.

_:Pretty well done,: _Obito observed. _:I think this guy's the only enemy left alive.:_

"We'll keep this one alive for Ibiki," Kakashi said to his Team as they regrouped around the unconscious body. He looked around. "Is anyone injured?"

"A superficial wound across my hamstring; I already had Gin check it out. It didn't sever the tendon," replied one. The Team's medic cast a practiced eye over the rest of the group, and gave a nod to Kakashi.

"Alright," the grey-haired shinobi said. He turned to Gai and tersely introduced himself: "Hatake Kakashi."

"Maito Gai, Konoha's Noble Green Beast! Our great leader the Hokage has sent us to reinforce your Team in its mission!" came the zealous answer.

Kakashi felt a muscle near his eye twitch. Fortunately, it was one that was covered up by his _hitai-ate._ Well, it was obvious where the 'green beast' part came from. But really? Kakashi knew that civilians often talked about how most ninja had some sort of odd quirk, and had dismissed it as ridiculous (most people in general had an odd quirk, not just ninja), but this guy…

_:Is this guy for real?: _Obito asked, gawking at the green-jumpsuit garbed, dramatically posed man.

"You probably could have saved yourselves the trouble and stayed home; as you can see, the mission is over already," Kakashi said, not unkindly, deciding to ignore the strangeness of the other Team leader.

"Indeed, you and your Team's skills burn with the flames of youth! Your enemies could not stand against you!"

Kakashi resisted the urge to stare blankly at the green-garbed man, and instead said neutrally: "We should get our captive back to Ibiki."

"Ah!" gasped Maito Gai, and tears sprang to his eyes. Kakashi watched with the same sort of morbid fascination as someone watching an exploding tag backfire. Gai's Team seemed to sigh in unison. "You are so hip, Hatake-san! To so coolly complete your mission! You must be my eternal rival! When we return to Konoha, I will challenge you to spar!"

_:Uh…: _Kakashi thought, unable to really form any other coherent words. Obito was gawking again, or perhaps had never stopped.

_:Eternal rival?: _Obito repeated. He sounded a little dazed, like he'd been hit on the back of the head with a club. _:Hip? Kakashi?:_

Obito's attention turned to his grey-haired friend. _:This guy thinks you're hip? And his eternal rival?:_

He didn't seem to expect an answer, because he turned again to stare at Maito Gai, while continuing to mutter in wonder at the recent occurrences with the air of someone who couldn't quite believe what he'd just seen. At the same time, Gai started off on some sort of rant about the flames of youth, and springtime, and having to do one thousand chin-ups if he didn't defeat his eternal rival Kakashi.

For some reason, Kakashi felt like crying.


	23. Shatterpoint

_And now back to your regularly scheduled angst. Just a heads up, but it looks like this drabble series is going to end up being 30 chapters/drabbles long.__ Thanks for all the reviews, faves, alerts, and stuff.  
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**In A Life

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**23. Shatterpoint

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It seemed like he was destined to fail at the really important things. His first mission as a Jounin Team leader, and one of his Teammates died. He promised to watch over Rin, and she contracted a deadly disease. He couldn't protect Minato-sensei, his Hokage. He became ANBU, and still couldn't protect his Teammates. Sarutobi, another Hokage to whom he'd sworn loyalty, was also killed, essentially before Kakashi's eyes. And his Genin Team… there were so many failures he'd committed there…

From the very start, he had known he wouldn't be a very good _sensei_. And from the very start, his assessment had been proved correct. The infamous Wave Mission, during which his students almost died. Several times. His failure regarding Sakura, whose fangirlish tendencies and apparent lack of commitment to the ninja profession had caused him to dismiss and ignore her, since he hadn't known quite how else to handle her. His failure with Sasuke.

Kakashi rubbed his eyes tiredly. Sasuke had gone, left Konoha, joined Orochimaru. It was a teacher's worst nightmare. His student was now a missing-nin.

What could he have done differently? He couldn't help but wonder, though he knew it wasn't something he'd done that had made Sasuke leave. There were many factors. Kakashi knew that Sasuke wanted to become a ninja, to get stronger, in order to go and avenge his clan by killing his brother. The near awe the village held for Sasuke as the last Uchiha had caused the boy to have a slightly elevated, and Sasuke's successes against the others in his age-group had made him complacent. His defeat at the hands of Gaara, and then watching Naruto ('dead last') handily beat the red-haired Suna-nin, had put doubt into his heart. Then Itachi had appeared. And Sasuke discovered that, even if he had gotten stronger, it still wasn't nearly enough.

It didn't help that Orochimaru's curse seal had taken those doubts, the pain of those defeats, and had fed them, increased them. From what Kakashi knew of Orochimaru, and what he'd gleaned from his inspection of the curse seal, he could take an educated guess as to what the seal had done. It had undermined Sasuke's vulnerable feelings of friendship, his newly forged bonds, and had instead pushed forward the feelings of hate, the need for more power. It had made Sasuke fixate even more on revenge, on power, on hatred. And Orochimaru's offer of power and training had then grown too tempting for the 'last' Uchiha.

Kakashi had tried to run damage-control. He'd tried to teach Sasuke the importance of teamwork—how in a Team, one ninja may become stronger than was otherwise possible. He'd tried to help Sasuke become a better, stronger ninja. He'd tried to contain the curse seal. He'd tried to make Sasuke realize the limitations revenge had.

But he'd failed. Kakashi was tempted to start adding an 'of course' to the end of such statements. Kakashi had failed, of course. It was his whole history. His missions may be classified as successes, but where it really counted, Kakashi failed.


	24. Tough Love

_I_. HATE. _Final exams.__  
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**In A Life

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**24.** **Tough Love

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Kakashi inhaled deeply, savoring the fresh air that filled his lungs. He'd spent too long in the hospital, breathing air that was laced with a thousand unhappy scents—the strong hospital disinfectant, the sour scent of illness, the metallic tang of blood, the stench of death, and of despair. The air was one of the reasons why Kakashi couldn't stand the hospital. The others were more complicated.

But he'd finally been discharged, healed in mind and body from the injuries inflicted on him by Uchiha Itachi.

Kakashi had thought Obito's Sharingan would have given him a defense against Itachi's Sharingan. But he'd been trapped just as easily in the Tsukuyomi as he would have had he not had the doujutsu. It was something of an eye-opener, no pun intended. Kakashi might be strong compared with most of Konoha's enemies, but against Itachi he'd been powerless. His Sharingan, feared by others, was powerless.

_:You're weak,: _sneered Obito's soundless voice. The ghostly outline of the dead Uchiha shimmered into view in front of Kakashi, who blinked in surprise at the venom in his late friend's voice. Obito looked at Kakashi with an expression of distaste. _:You're so weak. You can't do anything.:_

"What-?" Kakashi started, his brow furrowing. He fell silent at Obito's look.

_:You let me die. You _killed _me with your arrogance, your stupid, blind adherence to the rules. You're so weak, you couldn't even stand for yourself. You had to prop yourself up with the rules.:_

"Obito?" Kakashi questioned, his chest squeezing in pain at the hateful words.

_:I should have never given you that eye; you don't deserve it. Although I guess it's ironic. With my last request I actually helped my murderer.:_

"But you said you didn't blame me…" Kakashi protested weakly, feeling lost.

_:People _lie_, Kakashi,: _scoffed Obito, his lip curling. _:I needed to make you believe that so you weren't crippled by it. I needed you whole to protect Rin and Minato-sensei. But you couldn't even do that, could you?:_

Guilt and grief and pain were beginning to claw at Kakashi's heart. He wanted to protest, but he couldn't. Because he knew it was true. He _had _failed in all those things. It _had _been his fault that Obito had died.

_:That's right. If you hadn't been such an arrogant little idiot, I wouldn't have died on that mission. I wouldn't have been crushed to death in that cave. What a fantastic Jounin Team-leader you were. Your first mission as leader, you get one of your Teammates killed.:_

It had been his fault. _His fault_. _He_ had killed Obito, not that Iwa-nin. He'd killed Obito with his foolish rules, his over-confidence. It was his fault, his fault, his fault!

Pain ripped through his head, and Kakashi fell to his knees, grasping his head in his hands. He could feel tears wetting his mask, and his eyes burned. He braced himself against the ground, gritting his teeth at the waves of agony bouncing through his skull and squeezing his eyes shut against the hot tears that ran from them.

The sharp pain receded slowly, finally leaving Kakashi slumped on the ground, panting. He didn't know how much time had passed. All he knew was that his body was shivering in the wake of the agony, his head swimming.

_:Kakashi?: _Obito's voice filtered through the buzzing in Kakashi's ears. The grey-haired shinobi looked up dazedly. _:You alright?:_

Kakashi blinked slowly, confused. Obito spoke with concern, his face set worriedly as he peered down at the prostrate living shinobi. But hadn't he just been snarling at Kakashi like they were the worst of enemies?

_:Kakashi, take off your _hitai-ate_,: _Obito commanded firmly. _:From the blood, I'd say it worked, but I need to see the eye to really know.:_

Blood? Kakashi reached up and touched his mask and _hitai-ate_ and was muzzily surprised when his fingers contacted tacky clots of wet warmth. Holding the fingers in front of his nose, he focused with some effort on the red painting the digits. Blood on his face… from his eyes? No, from his left eye. Obito's eye. He was bleeding from his eye. Was that a bad sign? It sounded unpleasant.

_:Come on, Kakashi, off with the _hitai-ate_. I'd help, but I can't touch the living.:_

With some encouragement from Obito—_why was he trying to help? Didn't he just say he hated Kakashi for what he'd done?_—Kakashi got his _hitai-ate _pulled away from the eye. There was a phantom ache behind the organ, an echo of pain. When Kakashi looked up at Obito, the dead Uchiha sucked in a 'breath.'

_:Ah, it did work. Good,: _he said softly.

"I don't understand," Kakashi said slowly, words slurred slightly. He blinked a couple times. There was something different about his vision, the feel of the eye, that he couldn't quite put his finger on. Obito gave him an apologetic look.

_:I'm sorry, Kakashi. You're going to need the Mangekyo Sharingan, and the only way to achieve it is by killing your best friend,: _Obito explained. _: Sorry for everything I said, but I had to make you believe you'd killed me.:_

Obito hesitated, then said, in a subdued voice _:You _still _haven't really forgiven yourself for my death. It was… easy to play on the blame that already existed in your mind. I almost hoped that it wouldn't be so easy to make you believe it was your fault. Kakashi, you know I really don't blame you.:_

"Mangekyo?" echoed Kakashi, still a little dazed, but his lips and tongue were responding to his brain's messages better now. "But…"

_:The advanced form of the Sharingan, yes. The form Itachi had. You'll need it to come. But I knew you'd never willingly kill a friend to get it, so I had to improvise. Everything I said was to get you to believe you were at fault for my death. That unlocked the Mangekyo for you. I'm sorry I had to be so harsh…:_

Kakashi was slowly coming to grips with everything Obito was saying, the fog the pain had left in his mind clearing. "You don't blame me?"

_:No. I swear. And neither does Rin.:_

"Obito…" Kakashi said, letting his head fall back into his hands wearily. "Never, _never _do that again. _Please_."

Obito winced at the desperate pleading that broke into Kakashi's voice.

_:I'm sorry,: _Obito whispered again. _:I had to. You'll need it.:_

Kakashi shivered a little, silent. Then after a couple breaths, he said, in a tone that was more like the Copy Ninja Hatake Kakashi that most of Konoha was familiar with: "Alright. Alright. How do I control this… Mangekyo?"

Obito felt a wash of relief at the implicit forgiveness in Kakashi's question. He looked at his friend and gave a minute smile. _:It will take some time for you to get. Do you think you're prepared to start now?:_

"Yes. It's not painful so much anymore."

_:Good. Here's what you need to know…:_


	25. Enigma

_TH: Ha, I triumph over final exams! And in my moment of victory, I bring you another chapter to celebrate. Please review! Thanks much!_

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**In a Life

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**25**_**.**_** Enigma

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Kakashi had found it strange the first time. The second time was downright suspicious. Why did the man who had killed an entire Clan—men, women, and children—not finish off his enemies? He had had plenty of opportunities. And yet, Uchiha Itachi left only injured bodies in his wake, instead of lifeless ones.

He had returned to Konoha, the Village from which he had defected, and hadn't killed a single of its citizens. Not one civilian, not the gate-guard, not a single of the loyal Leaf-nin who had confronted him. He could have killed Kakashi, several times over. But he hadn't. He had come ostensibly to kidnap Naruto, evidently interested in the Kyuubi the boy held. But he hadn't taken the _jinchuuriki_, even though he'd had ample opportunity.

Then Kakashi, Sakura, Naruto, and Chiyo-baa-sama had encountered the notorious Uchiha on their way to rescue Gaara. Or at least, encountered his body-double, which he had been controlling from a distance. And once again they had walked away, despite Itachi having several chances to kill them, and/or kidnap Naruto. Overall, despite having a bevy of openings for striking fatal blows, either to Konoha or to its individual ninja, Itachi had yet to take one. It was strange. It didn't add up.

In a way, it made Kakashi very uneasy. Based on his own, albeit limited, experience with the younger man, and others' descriptions, Uchiha Itachi was a shrewd, calculating genius who was not given to actions that did not have some logical base. It made Kakashi wonder exactly what Itachi's goal was.

Obito refused to say anything on the subject. Having been reassured that Kakashi wasn't going to let hatred of Itachi corrupt him, Obito had become completely closed-mouthed about the other Uchiha. He'd said something about that rule of not being allowed to interfere with the living, which Kakashi understood only marginally (wasn't Obito interfering by visiting Kakashi?), and then ignored any other questions on the topic. Which also worried Kakashi, because that meant it was almost certainly important. Otherwise, why wouldn't Obito tell him?

There was a secret here. But Kakashi was unsure how to uncover it aside from just waiting. He could hardly question Itachi about it, and Obito was less than forthcoming. Look underneath the underneath… But with a genius like Itachi, that had to be taken even further, the truth buried under even more layers. Kakashi simply didn't have enough evidence to form any coherent theories. All he saw was the S-class _nukenin_ Uchiha Itachi, genius, wielder of the Mangekyo Sharingan, murderer of the Uchiha Clan, almost refusing to take the lives of his opponents. It was strange to the point of irrationality. Why would such a notorious killer leave an enemy still breathing when he had the chance to finish the job? Everything Itachi did was fueled by logic, strategy. There had to be some reason. But Kakashi couldn't see it. Yet.


	26. Greet the Reaper

_TH: Here's the next installment in IAL. It keeps mostly to the manga depiction of the event, but I added my own flair to it. Hope you all enjoy- please review! I do like to hear from you all...  
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**In a Life

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**26. Greet the Reaper

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When death finally came for Kakashi, it came quickly, as if impatient to finally claim the last Hatake, who had cheated it too many times before. He remembered the crippling pain of his injuries, the dizzying exhaustion that had gripped him. He remembered one last burst of effort and chakra, expended to save Chouji, sacrificed to help Konoha one last time. He remembered knowing he was going to die… And then he was, though he couldn't quite say when the exact crossover occurred.

His awareness had faded out, and then he realized he was wandering, his body no longer pinned by rubble, through featureless darkness. The path of the dead.

_:So this is death…: _he mused absently. He wondered where Obito was. Surely his old Teammate would appear soon to guide him to his proper place in death. That did seem to be the role Obito had taken up after his death. And over the seventeen years he'd spent shepherding Kakashi through life, he had alluded to the fact that he would be the one to guide Kakashi in death as well. But he was conspicuously absent now.

A spot of light grew before him in the darkness, and Kakashi stopped in shock, almost unable to comprehend what he was seeing. A wash of emotion rolled over him.

"Is that you, Kakashi?" the figure seated beside the campfire asked. And even after twenty-one years of its absence, the voice rang with familiarity in Kakashi's ears.

Kakashi looked down at his father's profile, and found that he no longer held any animosity toward the man. Not for killing himself, not for leaving his son alone in the world. There was only forgiveness, the seed of which Obito had planted a long time ago, and a son's love and pride.

"So you've been here this whole time…" Kakashi said, realizing that his father was only greeting him here now because Sakumo had not passed beyond this entry-way into death since killing himself those long years ago. He wondered if Sakumo had been waiting specifically for him. It seemed that way. There was a second seat beside the fire, empty. Kakashi moved toward it, as Sakumo spoke again.

"Will you tell me about yourself?" His tone was almost wistful.

"Sure…" Kakashi said, a feeling of peace creeping into him. "It'll take a long time… but I want to tell you everything."

"Yeah… all right," Sakumo replied. Kakashi gave his father one of his trademark closed-eye smiles.

"So, Dad…" He paused and laughed a little at the taste of the words, turning his head back forward to stare down at the leaping shadows the fire painted at his feet. The smile faded, and Kakashi was briefly silent. "It was hard, after you… died."

Sakumo shifted to stare at his feet, too. Kakashi continued, the words tumbling from his mouth as if released from a dam. "I was nine, but I wasn't a child. They didn't quite know what to do with me. In the end, they just left me alone. I lived in the house for a while longer… until I couldn't live every day with the memories, and the bloodstain on the living room floor. I was eleven when I closed up the house and moved into my own apartment. It was easier after that. I ignored… you, and what you'd done. Or at least, I pretended I did. But there was always the reminder at the back of my mind, and that was what drove me to be so adamant about following the rules.

"That led me into trouble later. I was a member of Team Seven, with Shimizu Rin, Uchiha Obito, and Namikaze Minato. The Third Shinobi War was in full swing. I had just made Jounin, at thirteen, in time for an important mission. I would lead Rin and Obito while Minato-sensei provided backup for our men on the frontlines. We'd only been split for a short time before a group of Iwa-nin attacked. They kidnapped Rin. I wanted to continue with the mission. It was an important one, and I didn't think it was wise to risk failure by chasing after Rin." Kakashi knew the situation sounded familiar to Sakumo, and thought he maybe saw his father flinch slightly at the words. But now that he had started, it was hard to stop.

"Obito was against my decision. We'd never really gotten along completely. My attitude bothered him, and his bothered me. We argued. He told me… he told me 'Those in the ninja world who break the rules and regulations are called filth, but those who don't care about their companions... are even lower than filth.' And then he went after Rin. I almost didn't, but I followed. We saved Rin, but…" Kakashi's hand rose to his left eye "I lost an eye, and Obito… lost his life. His last requests were that I take his Sharingan and protect Rin…"

Sakumo didn't interrupt Kakashi as the younger Hatake went on, describing his life and how it had changed in the wake of Obito's death. He talked about his career in ANBU, and later about his own Genin Team, and his failures there. It was hard… to tell his father about the student he'd taught who'd turned against the Village. But Sakumo made no judgments, didn't condemn his son.

By the time Kakashi had reached his fight with Pein and subsequent death, he felt lighter than he had in years. The burden he'd been carrying, hauling all his failures and feelings of guilt around, had fallen away with each word.

"I see… You've had your share of trouble, too…" Sakumo said at last, when Kakashi had lapsed into silence at the end.

"Yeah," Kakashi said wryly.

"But…" Sakumo continued, "I never thought we'd both die so young…"

Kakashi looked into the fire wearily. Sakumo continued, almost to himself: "Though not as young as your mother…"

Kakashi long slow breath. His memories of his mother were fuzzy with age. He didn't feel her loss as acutely as he had his father's. The betrayal, the shame… He'd spent a long time both hating his father and wishing the man would come back. He told Sakumo: "Regardless of what happened, you did the best you could. I understand now… you broke the rules for all of our sakes—I'm proud of you now."

Sakumo was quiet a long moment, a moment in which Kakashi could feel his father staring at him. Finally, Sakumo said softly: "Thank you."

_:Kakashi!: _The call hit Kakashi sharply, and he felt a prickling of heat across his back. He gasped, and realized that a beam of light was bearing into him, burning away the darkness around him. Obito's voice rang out again, _:Here you are! Come on Kakashi, you have to wait your turn. No sneaking in.:_

Kakashi stood, startled and confused. Obito was nowhere in sight, but his voice was clear as day. "What?"

"Looks like it's not your time yet," Sakumo said. Kakashi looked at his father, still seated at the campfire, shadows playing across his face. "You still have things to do."

"Dad…" Kakashi started, without knowing what he wanted to say. Sakumo smiled at his son.

"I'm glad I was able to speak with you. Thank you for forgiving me…" Sakumo and the campfire were fading from Kakashi's view. "Now I can move on."

Darkness took over Kakashi's sight… or was it lightness?

_:I can finally see your mother again…: _Sakumo's last words drifted through Kakashi's mind.

Kakashi's right eye—he kept the left closed by force of habit—snapped open and he took a whopping breath, startled to be in a living body again. Obito was leaning over him, grinning. _:Ah, there you are. Thought you could get out of some work, did you?:_

Kakashi sat up as fast as he could. He was only partially aware of Chouji, Chouza, and the giant slug—Katsuyu—beside him. The two Akimichi exclaimed over his revival, but Kakashi was focused on Obito.

"What happened?" he demanded of the dead Uchiha. Obito's smile turned sheepish.

_:Eh…:_

"I'll explain everything…" Katsuyu promised, evidently thinking the question universal.

_:I'll let her field this one,: _Obito said quickly, and vanished, leaving Kakashi thinking some very dark thoughts about his ghostly friend, and Katsuyu explaining the events that had taken place.


	27. Kopi Ninja no Kakashi

_TH: Yay, lighthearted chapter! I think the rest will probably be less happy-go-lucky... So enjoy it while you can._

_There's... ONE line of pervy humor, which I maintain is a nod to Kakashi's porn-soaked mind. It's not explicit, though. You might have to think about why it's actually pervy. :P  
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**In a Life

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**27. Kopi Ninja no Kakashi

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His nickname was something Kakashi went back and forth about. It sounded alright, he supposed. Copy Ninja Kakashi! It had a sort of ring to it. But when you really stopped to think about it, it was kind of insulting. "The man who copied over a thousand jutsu." Copied? Just _copying _a jutsu with the Sharingan meant nothing if you didn't have the chakra reserves, the control, the _ability_ to actually perform it successfully.

Plus, Kakashi had created his own highly-ranked jutsu—the Raikiri and the Chidori. But no-one called him 'Inazuma no Kakashi', did they?

Hm.

…On second thought, perhaps he preferred it that his nickname _wasn't_ Lightning Kakashi.

Maybe 'Rairyu no Kakashi'? 'Raijin no Kakashi'? Or would that be too arrogant, calling himself after a god? Kakashi was going to go out on a limb and say yes for that one. Too bad. It probably would have put a bit of fear into his enemies.

Not that his current nickname didn't inspire terror. Those who knew of his history were well aware that Kakashi was no light-weight. But those who hadn't had the good fortune of being told of his very deadly reputation still thought it a good idea to challenge him. Generally, they pretty rapidly realized their stupidity. And if they survived, they forever wet their pants in terror at the mere mention of 'Kopi Ninja no Kakashi.' They, at least, didn't suffer the doubts Kakashi did at his nickname.

Copy Ninja. As if he were some trained monkey, doing tricks. Performing them well, but not understanding them. Ha.

_:Some people do call you 'Sharingan no Kakashi',: _Obito said, popping in, as he usually did, with no warning.

"It does sound pretty cool, and it does strike fear in the hearts of my enemies," Kakashi said, waving a hand, "But it completely reveals my ace-in-the-hole. If everyone called me that, everyone would know I had the Sharingan, and then I wouldn't get to see the great looks they get on their faces when I first unveil it."

Obito lifted an eyebrow at his living friend. _:You… you're kinda sadistic, aren't you?:_

"Nah," Kakashi said lightly. "Well… maybe a little."

_:Hn. You're in a good mood.:_

"Mm. You know, I just realized Kopi Ninja no Kakashi isn't so bad. I could have been stuck with a much more hideous nickname."

_:Like what, dare I ask?: _Obito questioned. Kakashi smiled.

"Anything containing the word 'youth' or any of its derivatives."

Obito, having witnessed the… phenomenon… of Maito Gai, shuddered.


	28. Growth

_TH: Okay, so this chapter is a bit short... Sorry. But I SWEAR the last two are longer._

_Also, I meant to address this earlier, but kept forgetting. Now I've finally remembered (ages after the fact), and here we go: After Chapter 24: Tough Love, in which Kakashi gains the Mangekyo, there was some debate over whether his eye would bleed from it. Well, I had already established in a previous chapter (11: Sharingan Evolution) that, because Kakashi was not born with it, the Sharingan would have to burn new chakra pathways to support any evolution it underwent. The Mangekyo is a very drastic change, and one that is gained at a horrible price- the life of someone close to you. I believe that the bleeding-eye and the slow-blindness are a sort of karmic punishment. Even though Kakashi did not kill Obito, he wholly believed he did, and that triggered the change. So the Mangekyo burned new pathways to support itself, and Kakashi's guilt combined with that, and so the eye bled. Does that make sense to anybody else?  
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**In a Life**

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**28.** **Growth

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It hadn't really registered in his mind that his students had risen as far as they had. But when he first saw Sakura smash a tree to kindling using one small fist, when he first saw her drag a patient back from the threshold of death, he wondered at the fact that he had dismissed her once upon a time. She was a far cry from the boy-crazy, image-obsessed little girl she had been. She'd finally opened her eyes and become a great kunoichi. Kakashi thought that, in time, she could even surpass her mentor, the Sannin Tsunade.

And Naruto…

Kakashi hadn't believed the boy could become Hokage, at first. Though he had a true heart, that wasn't enough to qualify for the office. Naruto's poor performance in the Academy and his less-than-stellar Genin career seemed incontrovertible evidence _against _his fitness for the position of Hokage. The Hokage was the strongest ninja, the best able to lead and defend Konoha. It was a position of respect, a fact which explained why Naruto wanted it, but also explained why he wouldn't get it.

Except then everything changed. Naruto matured, by necessity. His experiences tempered him into some one who could, conceivably, assume the position of Hokage. Jiraiya had made him into powerful shinobi. Life had made him mentally and emotionally more mature. His defense of Konoha had made him into a hero. Let him grow just a little more, and he would make a fine Hokage. Like his father had been.


	29. Revelation

_TH: Early update yay! Also a shameless personal plug... I have a new story starting up, an Itachi-centric one. "Perchance to Dream;" please check it out! In other news, I want to thank everyone again for the reviews, faves, alerts and all that. I really do appreciate it.  


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**In A Life

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**29.** **Revelation**

It made a dismal sort of sense. The Uchiha were planning a coup d'etat. Had they gone through with it, it would have resulted in civil war, destabilizing Konoha and the Fire Country. Other countries and Hidden Villages would have seen that weakness and struck. Thousands would have died. War would have torn apart their world. It was obvious: The Uchiha had to be stopped.

As deplorable as genocide was, in this case, it became inevitable. Even necessary. If the Uchiha had not been stopped, the outcome would have been far worse. Killing the clan became the lesser evil.

But how do you kill a clan of powerful ninja, Sharingan-users?

By setting them against another Sharingan-user. The most powerful one in decades.

Despite the horrible logic of the choice of Uchiha Itachi as executioner, Kakashi found it difficult to condone the action. The boy had been just that: a boy. Thirteen, and forced to kill mother, father, cousins, elders, children… It made Kakashi nauseous that his Village had ordered the massacre.

At first he hadn't wanted to believe it. He'd believed Uchiha Madara had been lying. After all, according to accounts, Uchiha Madara was dead. But then, everything had clicked. _It all made sense_. This was what he'd been missing in his evaluation of Itachi, of Itachi's actions.

It made sense, now, why Itachi had seemed almost to avoid violence. Why he avoided killing whenever possible. Why he'd never completed his orders to capture Naruto. Why he hadn't killed Sasuke.

Why Obito had never seemed to condemn Itachi for familicide. Why Obito had told Kakashi not to hate Itachi.

Kakashi was shaken by this new understanding of the Uchiha Massacre, which was probably what Madara had been intending by telling them the story. The old Uchiha apparently still held a grudge against Konoha for his past, and seemed to plan for its destruction. Why not make its ninja question themselves and their leaders by speaking a few well-worded truths?

_:Don't let him get to you,: _Obito said, appearing beside Kakashi and glaring with undiluted hatred at the masked Madara. The falling snow drifted through his transparent body. _:It was partially the bastard's fault why the massacre happened. Why the Kyuubi attacked Konoha. Much of what is wrong with the world is Madara's fault.:_

"What do you mean? If that's true and Sasuke knows it, then why would he work for Akatsuki? He would follow his brother's wishes and return to Konoha," Kakashi demanded of Madara. He knew the answer, but asked in order to stall for time to think.

_:Madara was behind the Kyuubi attack?: _he echoed Obito. _:Madara is the reason sensei is dead? The reason Naruto…:_

Anger rose in Kakashi, and he wanted to take the Raikiri in his hand and punch it through Madara's withered heart. But that would be pointless. Sure, he and Yamato had Madara trapped… but Kakashi was not fool enough to believe it. Madara had not lived this long by being so easily beat. There was a trap somewhere in this.

"Naruto, someday you will have to fight Sasuke. Or rather… I will make you fight Sasuke," Madara said. "This fated battle has been long in coming. I will use Sasuke to force people to acknowledge the Uchiha Clan."

Predictably, Naruto exploded: "Sasuke isn't your toy! You're out of line!"

Kakashi grimaced. For all Naruto was morally right… what Madara said also rang with truth. Sasuke and Naruto would fight. Madara would use Sasuke. Because Sasuke would allow himself to be used.

_:Kakashi! Don't let him distract you with your emotions! Think!: _Obito snapped. _:That's what he is going to use Sasuke for… but there's a lot he's not saying.:_

Obito was right. What about everything else? Acknowledgment of the Uchiha Clan was too small a goal. Too simple.

"If all you want is to make people acknowledge the Uchiha, then why do you need the Bijuu?" Kakashi asked. "What the hell are you really after? What do you want?"

In an instant, the atmosphere changed. Initially, the tension and danger of Madara's presence had made the sunlight seem almost cold, the edges of the weak winter light sharp. But now, as Madara turned his head ever so slightly toward Kakashi, the day seemed to dim, and the cold turned to something deeper than just the chill of falling snow.

"Well, if you must know…" Madara said, voice thick with a gleeful malevolence, "It is to become complete."

"Complete?" Kakashi said, brows snapping together.

"What do you mean?" demanded Yamato, speaking for all of them.

"There's no use in telling you," Madara said dismissively. He shifted, and Kakashi bit back a curse as Yamato's _mokuton _bonds shifted, too. "There are other, more effective places to have this conversation."

Madara's body began to disappear, swirling in an echo of his mask's design. "It's been fun chatting… See ya."

"No! Damn it!" Naruto shouted, pounding his fists against the wooden cage Yamato had created around him. He fumed a moment, then turned furious eyes on Kakashi and Yamato. "You! Why'd you let him go?"

"We didn't _let _him do anything, Naruto," Kakashi responded, letting his Raikiri fizzle out. "He's too strong for us to hold him here, no matter how hard we try. His Mangekyo assures that."

"What will we do now?" Yamato asked. He dispelled his jutsu, and the _mokuton _cage around Naruto retracted. The blond seemed to slump where he stood, his thoughts likely turning toward Sasuke, and growing dark.

_:Kakashi, Sasuke has already begun his attack on the Kage summit,: _Obito said softly. Kakashi closed his eyes against the pang of grief that came with the words.

"We need to continue to the Kage summit," he told Naruto and Yamato. They couldn't hear Obito, so they didn't know. And Kakashi couldn't tell them. "We need to stop Sasuke."

_:Kakashi…: _Obito said.

_:I know. I _know_!: _Kakashi thought sharply, knowing Obito would hear him. Sasuke had just signed his death warrant. By attacking the Kage, he had ensured that there could be no mercy. _:It's too late. There can be no happy ending now…:_


	30. Will of Fire

_TH: Updated in recognition of the fact that Germany and the USA advance in the World Cup! Woot! Go Deutschland! Yes, I cheer for Germany. But as an American soccer fan, I'm also glad the US went through; maybe this will cultivate more interest in the sport in the States._

_Anyway, a note on this chapter. **NARAKA** is a Buddhist term. It's often translated as Hell. People who die with bad karma are reborn there, and live there in intense suffering until they pay back their karma. So if you're a really bad person, you stay there for quite a long time. Wikipedia it if you're curious beyond this general description.  
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_Stay tuned for a note at the end of the chapter.  
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**In A Life

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**30_._**** Will of Fire

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His body was cremated; it was safer that way. Cremated, there was no chance of a reanimated corpse, no possibility of a puppet made from his body, no theft of his abilities. If he were ash, the world would be safer.

At least, that was the official reason. For some, though, the pyre was a gesture… their last gesture. They couldn't put his name on the Memorial Stone. They couldn't hold any sort of funeral other than this public burning, held to allow the other nations the chance to make sure Konoha wasn't doing anything underhanded. But under this guise, they could give him a service of honor. Cremation was the traditional treatment of the dead in Fire Country, it was symbolic of the nation taking the dead back into the land. It was fitting, too, for one such as he.

The Uchiha were, after all, a clan of fire-jutsu masters. It was their basis, the reason for their emblem: the fan that stoked the flames.

They wouldn't be allowed to mourn Uchiha Sasuke, at least not publicly. But they could do this.

Kakashi slid his attention from the pyre, brightly aflame, to Naruto. The younger shinobi was standing beside him, at his right hand. Sakura stood at his left. They were so close to the pyre they could feel the heat tighten the skin of their faces. Naruto faced the heat unblinking, unflinching, his expression set.

The battle had been fierce; Naruto hadn't escaped unscathed—his right arm was still wrapped in thick bandages, the damage of a colliding Ransengan and Chidori having shredded the limb. But despite everything, Naruto had prevailed. He hadn't be able to save his friend, no. But he had prevailed in stopping Sasuke when at last it had become clear that the Uchiha would not rest until he had torn Konoha and its people apart. Naruto had saved Konoha, at the cost of his friend, and the last of his innocence.

Kakashi wondered if Konoha could appreciate how much Naruto had sacrificed—was sacrificing, would sacrifice—for them. Many of the ninja, at least, understood. And they honored Naruto for it. If he wasn't nominated for Hokage when Tsunade stepped down, Kakashi would be very surprised.

The grey-haired shinobi glanced to his left. Sakura's eyes were dry, her face carefully blanked of any expression. She hadn't loved Sasuke to the end, Kakashi knew; she was smarter than that. She may have loved the idea of what Sasuke had been when he was younger, what he could have been, but she didn't love him. Kakashi believed that Sakura was so dry-eyed now because she had already mourned Sasuke's death long ago. That was for the best; it made it easier for her to now stand by his killer, her almost-brother, Naruto. And Naruto needed her.

Kakashi turned back to the pyre. Like his Teammates, he couldn't cry for Sasuke. But a lifetime of pain and grief had better prepared him for this; it took little effort to keep his tears at bay.

They watched the fire burn down, until there was nothing but embers and ashes left, at which point Yamato used a Doton jutsu to encapsulate the remains in rock and then subsumed it into the earth at their feet. Nothing was left but a smooth patch of bare dirt. Everyone watching turned around and began leaving the area, the foreign Kage to return to their Villages, the Konoha forces to continue cleaning up the mess the battle had made of their country.

Naruto, Sakura, and Kakashi stared at the spot for a heartbeat longer, then they too turned and left. Kakashi peeled off from his former students, and went to a quiet corner of the forest.

It wasn't difficult to find a quiet corner these days. The nations had allied together to face the threat of Uchiha Madara and Sasuke, and the alliance seemed to be lasting. In addition, Madara was also dead. Or at least, they believed he was.

The old Uchiha had spurred Sasuke and Naruto on to fight, as he had said he would. It had been his influence that had made Sasuke unbending in his determination, that had made it necessary for Naruto to kill his friend. But just because it had been necessary didn't mean Naruto was okay with it. After Sasuke had breathed his last, the blond jinchuuriki seemed to have snapped; he'd released eight tails of the Kyuubi, and had proceeded to completely tear Madara, the one responsible for _everything_, apart. The Uchiha hadn't stood a chance against Naruto's new control of the demon fox and Naruto's fury at the death of Sasuke.

They hadn't had much left over to identify Madara; the other nations had to be content with eye-witness accounts. Fortunately, they mostly trusted Naruto now.

_:Madara _is_ dead.:_

Kakashi turned to see Obito's transparent form nearby. "Is that a fact?"

Obito gave Kakashi a very uncharacteristically bloodthirsty smile. _:I led him to Naraka myself. He's going to be there for a very, very long time.:_

Kakashi was silent a moment, then he gathered his courage, and asked: "Sasuke?"

Obito's toothy grin fell from his face. Gently, he said _:What do you think, Kakashi?:_

"I think I didn't know him anymore, in the end. If I ever knew him. Sasuke had been devoured by his hatred and his pain. He wasn't my student, he wasn't Naruto and Sakura's friend. Not anymore."

_:I suppose you're right,: _Obito said. He was silent a moment longer, and then he said, _:Death has a way of washing away everything, of revealing a person's true form. The truth of their character, their spirit.:_

"And what was Sasuke's true character?" Kakashi asked after a brief hesitation, fearing the answer. Obito gave him a gentle smile.

_:Maybe you should ask them,: _he said, lifting an arm and pointing. Kakashi turned to look, but saw no one. He did, however, sense Naruto and Sakura's chakra signatures in that direction. He glanced at Obito, then started off toward them.

His two former students were standing side-by-side, not talking. Naruto was staring at the sky, his face blank. It was an eerie expression on his usually-smiling face. Sakura was next to him, resting her head against his shoulder in silent support. They both turned to face Kakashi as he approached.

The grey-haired shinobi nodded to them, stepped to Naruto's other side. He put a hand on Naruto's shoulder, comfortingly. Sakura laid her head back down on Naruto's other shoulder.

"I… think I'm okay," the blond said quietly. Kakashi squeezed his shoulder.

"You'll be alright," Kakashi agreed. "We'll all be alright."

They stood like that for a long moment, each Sakura and Kakashi lending their strength to Naruto. Then, hesitantly, Sakura spoke.

"Did…" she trailed off and started again. "When we were watching the pyre, did either of you… see anything?"

Kakashi recognized that tone. He _knew _that tone. He had to exert effort to not snap his head around to stare at her. Under his hand, Naruto's shoulder tensed.

"Like what?" Kakashi managed to ask calmly. He couldn't help but hold his breath for the answer.

Sakura hesitated, looking clearly uncertain. She opened her mouth, then closed it, and then said: "Nevermind. It must've—"

"It was Sasuke," Naruto interrupted her. He took a breath, as if saying the name had wounded him. "I saw him, too."

Sakura's head lifted and she stared at her Teammate. She whispered: "You did?"

Kakashi's head was buzzing with thoughts. Sasuke's shade… Had he come back, like Obito? Was this what Obito meant, ask them? Why did Sasuke come back? Obito had come back to watch over his remaining Teammates, to make sure Kakashi didn't lose himself in guilt. What had motivated Sasuke to come back? Hate, or regret, or something else?

_:Why didn't I see him?: _the thought fought to the surface of his mind. Despite its triviality compared to the other questions, Kakashi found himself truly wondering.

_:Because you have me,: _Obito's voice came in reply. _:And they needed him.:_

Kakashi inhaled, finding Obito's transparent form in the treeline nearby. He looked at his dead Teammate, but couldn't read the Uchiha's expression. He switched his gaze back to Naruto and Sakura.

"Did he… say anything?" Kakashi asked, earning him stares from his two former students.

"You believe us?"

"You didn't see him?"

"Did he say anything?" Kakashi asked again. Naruto and Sakura shook their heads.

"I could barely see him," Naruto said. "He was standing in front of the pyre; I could see the flames through him. He didn't try to speak."

"He just… raised his hand, like this," Sakura put in. She mimicked the movement—a hand, open palm facing out. "And then he faded away…"

The gesture was small. But Kakashi felt the impact of it deeply. How could such a simple gesture hold so much meaning? It was a goodbye, an apology, a reassurance…

_:Sasuke's true character,: _Kakashi thought. _:Once Death washed life away, what was left was the Sasuke we knew. The lonely boy who felt more than he admitted to.:_

Kakashi closed his eye, and finally, finally, breathed easily.

"Kakashi?" Sakura's hand touched his lightly. He opened his right eye and looked at her. "You believe we actually did see him?"

Kakashi's eye lifted and he look over her head toward where he'd last seen Obito. The one-eyed Uchiha was gone, for now.

"Remind me," he said quietly, "to tell you about _my _ghost."

Sakura's green eyes searched his face for a moment, and then she slid her hand into his, and leaned against Naruto. She said: "Yeah."

Kakashi curled his fingers around hers, for once in his life welcoming the human contact, and let Naruto lean against his shoulder.

"We really are going to be alright, aren't we?" Sakura said softly. It wasn't really a question.

* * *

_TH: The end! Yes, this the last chapter for In a Life. I've had a blast you guys, and I really appreciate everyone's reviews and everything. I hope you enjoyed the ride. :)_


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